Nothing is nothing

My good man, how much for that nothing?

Sir, that nothing is VERY expensive.

I’ll take it!

Sir, I mean no disrespect, but I am certain you cannot afford this nothing. Perhaps I can show you a similar nothing that would ease your taste.

BLAST! This? Why and how have you come to such conclusions? I will have this nothing and nothing else.

Very well sir. I mean not to disturb your pleasures, but this nothing here, right here, is not cheap. I do not think you would know how to care for such a nothing - of course, not without proper nothing training. Would you like to include the training within the cost for nothing?

Yes, very well. I will buy into your schemes of nothing training to ease my mind for caring for nothing. How much will it cost me for the nothing training?

Well that depends on how much time you are willing to invest into nothing. You see, here in our store, we specialize in abstract negotiations that of which, do not convolute the efforts of our customers. I assure you we get right down to the point; especially, when it comes to caring for things such as nothing. Your guarantee is as good as the heat of the breath you speak with. No paper here sir. We have nothing to do with paper nor do we care for documenting our purchases or paper for that matter. Nothing is special, and we urge you to consider caring for it with commitment of word. Perhaps a shake of hands will do.

Very well, I will take trust that nothing will be obscured by our interpretations as well as the time it has taken for me to come to such a necessary decision. This nothing here, right here, is already beginning to weigh on me. Very well, we will shake upon the agreement that I will care for nothing and attend your classes of nothing training. But what time will these classes start?

I do not know. Perhaps you receive an audio telegram late in the night... telling you how to care and to worry for nothing. You see you’re already getting into it. Nothing has you worried. Do you not feel you can care for nothing? If so, I must interrupt this transaction and get back in no time. Nothing needs more attention than nothing and I have no time for such-

Very well.

Very well.


A man leaves a store with nothing. He has purchased nothing and will care for nothing and make it something. He will give it space, learn to love it, and fill it with happiness. Nothing has not made anyone more full of joy. He has seen nothing as something very dear and unbearably unique and later, after he has passed on to wherever it is we go when we die, his grandchildren will find nothing their grandfather sought to care for so dearly by contract of a shake and the heat of his committed breath. Nothing will bring these two, brother and sister, together no more than nothing. Nothing will show them how to care for one another and so on. Nothing will be with them- for them, by their sides for the rest of their lives. And as they approach the age of their grandfather just as he committed his word as bond to care and nurture nothing, they will realize that nothing has kept us together, nothing has held us accountable, nothing will never leave, and that there is a little bit of nothing within us all.