Emma pads through the living room, over the thick, ivory carpet, and settles on the chaise longue with her wineglass. As she tastes the cold white wine, her gaze falls to the fields on the valley ... [+]
Ben points out the driver and I stumble in the crosswalk
As tires plog past, just missing my toes. I suppose
It wasn't as bad as it could have been, Ben says and I believe him.
But I give the driver the finger anyway, alien that I am,
Hope he sees it, hurt and humbled.
Hope his heart halts for just a moment
(Merciful of me,
Isn't it?)
I know Daniel squirms whenever I swear, slipping shit! And howling hell!
Because those syllables resound like pop rocks on my tongue. I have begun
To care more for being eccentric, electric! Emancipated
Than I do for being charitable.
Elementary are the things I learned about being kind,
But if a bridge in our brains bids us obey authority, over the bay
My respect has swayed and sunk into the harbor. I harbor
All sorts of evils and grudges and angers yet some still
Have the audacity to tell me, compel me,
I
Am
Good.
(Good?)
(How good could I be?)
I am the teen kamikaze posse of one
Beating up the boy who calls me names
(I won't repeat)
A therapist questions his line of work. My hubris hurls him
Into an existential spiral for the rest of the session
(I should have him pay me instead: $80 an hour)
(To make your ego shrink, Shrink)
Nearly sent my mother to her grave for grief, groaning
Over the hell I raised. She raised a demon. I raise
A glass to all the unfortunate
Whose lives are worse for the wear
Of knowing me.
I have tried to fool myself into believing in my own heroism
Stuff in a drawer my inner desperado
But always, despite how I tell the tale
(I am the villain in the story)
(Chasing glory)
After all.
As tires plog past, just missing my toes. I suppose
It wasn't as bad as it could have been, Ben says and I believe him.
But I give the driver the finger anyway, alien that I am,
Hope he sees it, hurt and humbled.
Hope his heart halts for just a moment
(Merciful of me,
Isn't it?)
I know Daniel squirms whenever I swear, slipping shit! And howling hell!
Because those syllables resound like pop rocks on my tongue. I have begun
To care more for being eccentric, electric! Emancipated
Than I do for being charitable.
Elementary are the things I learned about being kind,
But if a bridge in our brains bids us obey authority, over the bay
My respect has swayed and sunk into the harbor. I harbor
All sorts of evils and grudges and angers yet some still
Have the audacity to tell me, compel me,
I
Am
Good.
(Good?)
(How good could I be?)
I am the teen kamikaze posse of one
Beating up the boy who calls me names
(I won't repeat)
A therapist questions his line of work. My hubris hurls him
Into an existential spiral for the rest of the session
(I should have him pay me instead: $80 an hour)
(To make your ego shrink, Shrink)
Nearly sent my mother to her grave for grief, groaning
Over the hell I raised. She raised a demon. I raise
A glass to all the unfortunate
Whose lives are worse for the wear
Of knowing me.
I have tried to fool myself into believing in my own heroism
Stuff in a drawer my inner desperado
But always, despite how I tell the tale
(I am the villain in the story)
(Chasing glory)
After all.