The Way my Mind Works

1 min

I’m a 13 year old who enjoys writing  [+]

Image of Spring 2019
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The faded white of my bedroom walls filled my vision as I awoke in a cold sweat. The street lights outside causing me an uneasy feeling. No matter how many attempts I made to escape this hellish place I always end up returning. These walls once gave me a feeling of nirvana, pure serenity. Until I let it in. It was out to get me and I knew it, yes I had the power to keep it at bay but sometimes it’d break loose and unleash havoc on my life. Friends were now a thing of the past, along with tranquil days. I never should’ve let it get this atrocious but I just couldn’t ask for help. Just looking around these four walls gave me a feeling of emptiness. A loud crash snapped me out of my thoughts. I gasped and quickly pulled the duvet over my head. Tears pricked my eyes as the crashes became louder.
“Please” I sobbed out brokenly, not even believing myself. After a while the scars I endured stopped fazing me. Talking to my elders would do close to nothing for me, they would never understand. How could they?
They’d tell me it’s just my mind, and they would be right.
This relentless pounding would get to me after a while. I had to get away.
The bangs became louder and more belligerent, I couldn’t fight back. The deadly hold it had on me never allowed me the chance to. I clamped my hands around my ears and screamed.
Then blackness consumed me. So here I am once again, laying in the protection of my faded four walls. In the protection of a monster I created by mistake.

A monster I could no longer fight. That monster, being myself.

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User deactivated · ago
I love how you left some things up to the reader’s imagination. The story was really engaging! I loved it!
I think you’ll like my story, “Do You See Me?”. The link to it is here:

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melogan · ago
Wonder if this is about detox and recovery from addiction? Is that the monster we are dealing with here. Well done, well compressed.
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Not-Only But-Also Riley · ago
Excellent twist! I really like how you start by giving the reader the impression this is a real, physical monster (with things like the crashing sounds and the scars), but then subtly hint at the twist ("They’d tell me it’s just my mind, and they would be right."), and then hitting the reader with that last line. It's hard to set that kind of thing up in so few words, but you've done it very well. Although you do reveal who the monster is, I also like how there still might be some room for interpretation (what exactly makes the main character a monster towards himself?). I feel like these kind of open questions are what make a story stick with a reader after they're done reading. Great work here.