In college, I went on a date with the son of my mother’s coworker. I couldn’t remember if his name was Jason or Justin, so I spent the entire night maneuvering my way out of saying his name. He... [+]
Is this what anger looks like ? I did not feel angry. For all that was done to me I should fell angry. The Jamaican child in me can hear my mother saying ' leave it to God and time'. well now is the time. I will be heard. Here is my statement. I was the token, the gift, the bribe, all of the above and more. To go Canada for a better life I became his promised to be piece on the side. So I left my island and all that I had known. I was to get an education that would at 16 years old make me fully grown. Grown enough to be accepting of an old man getting into my bed. He should have been with his dutiful wife upstairs instead.
The day I arrived in Canada I was 12 and I was freezing cold. Everyone was wrapped up and tightly covered. It just winter I was told. So I had to learn quickly to dress for the season right there in the airport. At his home with my little suitcase I was taken to a corner of the basement. There was a bed and a nightstand with a copy of the Good book on it. In the drawer below was two composition note books with three pencils. In the space between there were two very large books. He said they were nothing left by his son. In the four years that followed I filled 25 additional note books. I wrote about all the things he said and did that he called nothing. I wrote about every time I told his loving wife and she said what he did to me was nothing. In between all the nothings of feeling me up in the shower I wrote and read. All the times he stayed home from prayer meeting because he just had to save my soul naked instead I wrote and I read.
I read the Holy Bible for my life and sanity. It was my sword and at times my truest friend But the Two books that his son who I believe was led by God to leave for me they are here. The two books that saved me I brought them with me along with my journals. They gave me courage. The Lord of the Rings gave me Frodo and Sam. Their bravery made me brave. Dune took me far away to a desert planet that taught me that fear is the mind killer and that the sleeper must awaken. Well I am awake now. I found my courage and it will shake his universe. Ladies and gentlemen, he once told be no one would believe me. I am not angry I am determined. I have found my courage. I am the storm