I turned in church to get a look at the woman behind me. She was a year or two above my twenty two years. She was pretty in her soft yellow dress but plain. The churches rule was no make-up and no jewelry. She had accomplished the AMERICAN DREAM according to Bethel Apostolic church. She was a wife and a mother. Regardless of how tired, haggard and miserable she looked she had accomplished a woman's purpose in the eyes of God and the Church.
I was still single, lived and home and worked as a secretary at a law office. My mother an opinionated and judgmental woman made it her mission to marry me off to a church man who loved God. I attended church regularly, talk the way I was supposed to and acted according to the rules but there was a dry emptiness inside me.
I was invited to a party by a co-worker. I accepted. I was disowned by my family and deemed a wordly harlot. I felt as if a weight had been lifted. I packed a small bag of personal items and took my Bible. I walked to the bus stop and took it to the cheapest motel I found in the phone book.
While standing at the counter I noticed cards for a women's abuse center. I took one. Professional counselling later? Right now I was fine. I went against the teachings of a church and my parents. But, I was at peace.
The co-worker picked me up and took me to the party. I laughed and danced with beautiful people that in my world were known as sinners. I felt happy, felt peace and for the first time in my life I felt God. My spirit opened as I connected with the church within.