My brother loved to run. Every day before dawn, I saw him run. Before we'd even finished dinner, I saw him run. I tried to go with him sometimes, but I could never keep up. My brother runs like lightning.

My brother is also a weirdo. He's the fastest runner I know, so a lot of fancy schools want him to join them. He tells them all no. "I don't run for all of you," he says. Dad yelled at him at first, but he gave up. I don't get it either; They're really good schools, the kind mom would have wanted us to go, the kind where they send the rich and gifted kids. I guess my brother just really liked running.

Some days, my brother runs off to some place in the middle of the night. Dad sounds annoyed every time he goes, but he never tries to stop him. I hear rumors from some of the older kids. They say he runs off to see the night sky, at some spot where it looks really beautiful. They talk about it funny, though. They say it like my brother's gone crazy. I don't think so. I would want to see that too. 

One night, I decided to go see it with him. I ate my dinner quickly and I climbed out the window of my room. I'd be in trouble when I got back, but I just had to see. I found the forest path he always took, and I followed it. I took my torchlight and found the parts with flattened leaves and crushed sticks. Those were the parts freshly walked on. I learned that from the old survival guides he used to read to me as a kid. My brother used to read to me all the time. Now he likes running. He doesn't read to me any more.

My torchlight died halfway through. My dad always scolds me for being forgetful. Now he'll also scold me for forgetting to change the batteries on my torchlight. He always shakes his head and asks why I keep forgetting to remember. Isn't that silly? Luckily, I didn't need my torchlight. The moonlight was shining super bright today, I could see it even through the trees. 

After a while, I came out of the forest. There was a huge cliff in front of me. Dad told me not to come here because it's too dangerous. I guess my brother didn't listen, because he was sitting right by the edge, looking out at the sea. He sat like how dad sits in the living room after dinner. I never know what he's thinking about, and he makes me do my homework when I ask. 

I'll go talk to my brother. Maybe he knows something about it.

—-

It will be tonight. I'm sure of it.

It's been forever since I first saw it. I just knew I had to see what was at the top. I knew she was there. I just felt it. It's the same way you can tell that your brain is there or that you like your friends. You just know. 

All the same, I knew that it would be tonight. The scent in the wind, the glow in the sky, hell, the warmth in the air, it all pointed to that. I've done nothing but train for this exact moment, and when it comes, I'll -

"What're you doing?"

A jolt ran through my body. I almost cracked my neck and springed off the cliff just turning around to see who it was. Luckily, it was just my little brother.

"Don't do that! What're you doing out here? How did you find me?"

"I used the books. You know, the ones about surviving?"

He had the proudest look on his face. I scoffed and turned back to the sea.

"Dad know you're here? You know you'll get in trouble for staying, right? You should go home."

"I want to know why you came here."

I give my brother a side eye.

"You won't get it."

"Why not?"

"You just won't."

"How do you know?"

I sigh. I didn't plan to be pestered before it happened.

"You really want me to tell you?"

"Yeah!"

"Well... You know how mom... left when you were young?"

I pause. My brother nods. I point to the sky ahead of us.

"I think she went up here."

"To the sky?"

"Yeah. To the sky. Something like that."

"How do you know?"

"I saw a path. I heard her voice at the top. She was talking to you and I. She said she misses us. She wants to come visit again, but she's a little stuck."

My brother sat down in the grass behind me.

"How do you know it's mom?"

"I heard her voice. Remember those old lullabies I sang for you as a kid? She used to sing them to me first."

"Oh. I never got to hear mom sing."

"Well, whatever. It was her."

"So... You come here to talk to mom?"

"Kinda. I try to. She's usually not here."

"How do you know when she comes then? Why doesn't dad come with you to see her?"

"I don't. And... Dad doesn't believe me. He thinks I'm seeing things. You believe me, right?"

"I don't know. It sounds like ghosts, and Dad told me ghosts aren't real."

I let out a prolonged exhale. I stared out into the horizon, littered with thousands of stars.

"Yeah. Maybe."

Not tonight, then.

I stood up and turned to my brother, motioning for him to stand up too.

"Come on. It's time to go home. I'll tell dad I took you to your friend's house."

He sulked, but he got up nonetheless. He's a good kid.

Just then, I noticed something off. It was as if the whole world was drenched in a different hue.

Grass isn't supposed to be that blue.

—-

I thought we were going home, but the look on my brother's face suddenly changed. He looked really frightened. He looked at the sky again, and it was amazing. The moon was glowing bright blue! It was the prettiest night sky I'd ever seen. He just stared at it for a while.

 

My big brother seemed scared. My big brother had never seemed scared before. It made me scared too. Suddenly, he told me, "Listen. Go back home to Dad. If he asks where I am, tell him I'm visiting a friend." I didn't know why he said that. He just said "You need to trust me. Go back home now."

He kneeled down at the cliff's edge, just like how he does for his races. Where is he going?

—-

Breathe. Just breathe.

It's here. Just breathe. 

The shimmering moon starts to emerge from behind the clouds.

Everything I've done is for today. Every single thing.

Nothing matters now. Just breathe, and when it starts, run.

Halfway now.

I'm going to see her. I don't know what's there, but I promise.

You'll have the family you deserved.

The last shred of its surface is slowly revealed.

Ready.

Set.

The staircase appears.

Go.

—-

It was like magic. A bunch of stairs appeared out of nowhere. They looked like they were made of blue glass and light. The second they appeared, my brother started running. He sprinted up the stairs like he was being chased. He didn't even look back.

 

I know he told me to go home, but I can't. He's going alone. I don't want him to go alone.

—-

I ran.

I blocked out everything and ran. All I saw was the next step. The racing wind, my burning chest, the thinning air. I forgot about it all and just ran. 

The only thing I still felt was my brother. I think I heard him yelling. What was he trying to say? Whatever. Just run. I feel the vibrations from his steps as he tries to follow me. It's okay. He'll give up and head back down. Just run. Run like running is all that ever was. Run like your life depends on it.

 

I felt everything in acute detail. Freezing air condensed into surfaces just as I pushed off it, as if sustained by sheer faith alone. The weight was returning to my legs as I pushed them past their limits. Searing strain set in as I will myself forward regardless.  My lungs struggled to wring enough oxygen from the increasingly empty atmosphere. I'm starting to feel dizzy. I feel like vomiting my guts out.

I am almost there. I can feel it. I have to keep running.

I hear a crack from behind me. I feel a thump reverberating through the floor. Whatever I was walking on was weakening. I have to keep running.

I hear my little brother's scream pierce the air.

I stop.

—-