“I had a heart attack” Those words echoed through her mind as she let the syllables escape her lips. This was the first time she said them out loud. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. As she stared into the depth of her eyes, the words “You’re too young” haunted her. She’d heard these words from her doctor, and the nurses. The other patients on her floor, mostly elderly, whispered as she walked the hallways. Everyone she came across saw a vibrant young woman, but before her, she saw a tattered and bruised soul who had been through enough.
She, unfortunately, was familiar with illness. Diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that affected her skin at 13, then finding out her fertility was challenged by a cyst condition at 17, and to now have a stent put into a 90% blocked artery at the age of 32. Yes, she is young, but she is exhausted.
Before she lost herself, her thoughts were interrupted by her attending nurse. “Hi there, I’m Emily your charge nurse for the evening. Is there anything I can’t get you?” She instantly put on a fake smile. “No, I’m fine, thank you.” “Ok, I’ll be back to give you your meds in about an hour. You had a big day. Be sure to get some rest.” Emily smiled and backed out of the room.
The fake smile she wore slowly went away as she was once again alone with her thoughts.
Why was this happening to her? How much more could she take? The weight of her life story crushed her. The mental scars from her illnesses broke open at their seams causing rivers of tears to flow from her eyes. She sobbed. Loud enough to hear herself. It was somewhat therapeutic.
Her phone vibrated on the table.
She wiped her eyes and looked. It was her friend.
“Hey Friend! Just checking in on you. Haven’t heard from you in a while but your name dropped in my spirit so I hit you up”
She texted back her signature happy emoji and a big “THANKS Friend!”
“Don’t want to bother you but just want you to know that you are an inspiration to me. I know you’ve been through a lot and please believe me when I say that it doesn’t go unnoticed. You are the strongest person I know but even strong people need help too. Whenever you need me, I am here. Love you!”
She stared at the screen. She sobbed. This time, tears of relief.
She was reminded that she too is human, things will get better, and she is never alone.