I make my way down the stairs to the hull of the ship to the newest prisoner. She's different from the rest. She put up a fight. Only one brave enough to. She's no more than an orphan. Not much different than me but rather than allowing myself to fall to female destitution or prostitution I made my way in the world. Carved my own path, my own struggles faced and dealt with. But not her. The means of dark magic used to bring her close. Her beauty and deceit leave men powerless. She truly was beautiful. A soft look in her eye. A shame she was unable to see I was a woman. She introduced herself to me as Lilith before leading me away from my men.
The moon's blue light crept in through the wooden boards of the ship. My lantern glows dimly, casting a golden light across the wooden floor. For years I had used a hat and high collar to hide my hair and forced a deeper voice so I could work alongside men on this ship. Now I could walk free as a feared captain. It had been just a season since I shot my predecessor and took what I deserved. I do tend to wear the same attire but now it's accompanied with the captain's hat, jacket, and respect. At nights I let my hair rest over my shoulder in a braid and my buttons were undone allowing breath in only showing a wrap binding my chest which Lilith had found the night before while letting her hands roam my body.
My breath hitches when I see her. Large rusted shackles keep her wrist securely in place above her head and the rest of her body slumps from exhaustion. Her hair falls in front of her eyes but I know she's asleep as she had no reaction to my entrance. My boots splash through the inch of water that's been acquired from the grueling storms tormenting my sea. The moon pulls on the waves just as she had pulled on me earlier in the night before I broke free and brought here.
Seeing the mark my pistol had left on her face, my fingers reached towards it. The dark brown dried blood from the cut on her eyebrow was now caked down past her eye and cheek with hair plastered to it. The large purple and blue oval on her prominent cheekbone further prove the power I had over her. Before my hand makes contact she jolts awake.
"Get away from me you disgusting brute!" her eyes haven't even fully opened yet before she's yelling.
"Will you be quiet!"
"Jo."
I can't understand why or how her demeanor got worse. Her back is to the wall and her mouth is open gasping for air. Her eyes are scanning the room and my face sporadically.
"Captain Jo, and I've brought you something." I pull a piece of bread I pocketed in my quarters. I am nothing if not fair she doesn't deserve to die by starving in captivity.
"I'll never take anything from you. How do I know this isn't a ploy to kill me faster?"
"You must. You look starved."
I hold the bread closer to her mouth. She shudders as my hand gets closer to her before taking a bite. Before I can even say anything she spits it at me. I threw the bread into the water below and grabbed just under her chin.
"You come to my crew at the port and try to seduce my men and me with your dark ways, only then to have the courage to disrespect me on my own ship!" It comes out of my mouth low and demanding
"I know why you are so angry." She says barely through her teeth because of my grip on her.
"Oh please tell me." I taunt and let go of her taking a step back allowing the luminous moonlight take over space separating us.
"I believe you're scared to lose your power and the seas made you go mad."
I laugh at the insinuation. Who isn't scared to lose their power? No one wants to. Least of all who had absolutely none for the majority of their life. I took my power, it was not given so why should I be the one to give it away?
"Well I am just a pirate."
"You're no real pirate."
I feel my face grow hot at what she said. Before I can even do anything I see her chest rise and fall faster and faster. I can practically hear her heartbeat.
"If I'm no pirate why are you so afraid?" I hold my lantern closer to her face, making her turn her face from me.
"I'm not afraid of Pirates." She stumbles through the sentence so I push on.
"Then what are you so afraid of?" After a long pause, I push more "Is it me? Are you afraid of just me?"
As the question finishes her face whips towards me again, her breath is becoming labored and quick telling me yes. But why? Why just me? Take away the pirate, I'm only a girl.
"So you mean to tell me Pirates and dark magic are nothing to you, but a girl? That's what keeps you up at night. You're truly more pathetic than I thought." I taunt, smiling at her.
"It's not that. Don't you see" Her eyes not ever leaving mine, plunging me into their dark blue the same as the ocean we are sailing on. "You are not just a girl. You're a woman with unthought-of power. Unheard of for centuries. A female captain in my lifetime. Yet every day you wake up and choose to live like those men, those barbarians who put us in these impossible situations. You choose their violence."
With her last sentence, she turns her injured cheek away from me. Away from the one who gave it to her. I still feel no remorse. Just because I'm the captain and I have power doesn't mean I don't need to protect myself from losing it.
"I'm scared because you have the ability to help other girls. Girls like me. But you choose to become yet another of our abusers."
I grab her hip pulling her face back to mine.
"You think I'm anything like you? I'm not." My sentence comes across menacing.
As I'm looking deeper and deeper into her eyes I find myself drowning. In her beauty, in her words, in her actions earlier. The further I fall the less I can breathe. My vision black, my judgment is cloudy and all I know is instinct. I feel air rush back into my lungs. I'm floating until a pull forces me back to life. My prisoner pulls her lips away from my own and as my eyes open I stumble back disoriented from my plunge.
"What are you doing?" her voice isn't hard or scary anymore. It's cold yet smooth like silk.
I rub my head trying to find an answer. My eyes blink furiously trying to process what my body just felt.
"It was you." I sputter out not understanding.
"You know it wasn't."
Is she accusing me?
"No, you must know something more. You'll pay for this, I'll make sure of it."
"I did nothing wrong!" she pleads her terror returning to her eyes, voice, and posture.
"Who will they believe? The Captain or a well-kept scrap?" I must protect myself first. I worked too hard to lose this.
"You're a monster!" I can hear the crew string above the deck from hearing her.
"So what if I am?"
I turn on my heel as my men come rushing towards us. I wave my hand at them directing them back to their stations and make my way back to my cabin following behind them.
The walk back to my solitude is arduous as I fight the waves that pull me side to side. Years on the water you get more used to the courses it takes and I stride accordingly. This water's a part of the crew just as much as many of my men. I know it personally. It's not scary but comforting. However, I wonder how I drowned earlier. How even on this ocean, my ocean, I became so disoriented and left for dead. The pull of the moon on the water was too much for me as it washed over my head. That moon was not my crew member. It was hers.