Brandon and Jake had the best costumes in the neighborhood. So when they got to Mr. Albers front porch, they were giddy with excitement. 

Mr. Albers was known for stocking up on king-sized candy bars every Halloween, but not every trick-or-treater got to receive this luxury. These candy bars were only reserved for the costumes that Mr. Albers deemed the best. The pair of friends had done it all: Spiderman and Venom, Jessie and Mr. White (although neither boy was allowed to watch Breaking Bad), robots, firemen, Spongebob and Patrick, you name it. Halloween was everything to two eleven-year-olds.  Unfortunately, Brandon and Jake never made the cut. But this year, it was in the bag, they could feel it. The boys were practically bouncing as Jake rang the doorbell. 

"He's coming!" exclaimed Jake. Mr. Albers' shuffling footsteps grew louder before the click of the lock being turned. The door swung open, revealing an old man with a cane, beaming at them. The boys beamed back. They were dressed as Brennan and Dale from Stepbrothers, sporting the curly-haired wigs and the vests over dress shirts, a Halloween costume classic. 

"Wow, you boys look great! That hair makes me think of Little Orphan Annie." Mr. Albers laughs. Brandon keeps his smile but furrows his brows. 

"We're the Stepbrothers," he explains. 

"Stepbrothers? You guys could be real brothers. You look a lot alike!"

"No, like the movie, Stepbrothers. It's our costume, obviously." 

Mr. Albers raises his eyebrows. 

"Oh, I see. Well you boys did a great job with your costumes." He reached behind the door. The boys peered around in anticipation. Mr. Albers came back around with two snack-sized pieces of candy in his hand, a Snickers and a Reece's. He plopped one in Brandon's bag and the other in Jake's. The boys just stared in shock at Mr. Albers, who remained smiling. 

"Happy Halloween." The boys shared a look. Mr. Albers backed up to close the door, but before he could, Jake snatched the cane from Mr. Albers, sending him tumbling. 

"Oof!" He exclaimed as he hit the ground. Jake threw the cane aside as they entered the home and shut the door behind them, revealing a clear bowl of snack-size candy only. They took off their wigs, revealing ropes and a cloth for a gag. Brandon tied Mr. Albers' hands as Jake tied his feet; the old man's feeble state made it too hard for him to overpower the boys. 

"Help! Help! Somebody help m-!" Mr. Albers' pleas were cut off as Brandon tied the cloth gag around his mouth. 

"Party City really does have everything," says Jake. 

Brandon smiles. "Split up." 

They search the house, every room. But after 10 minutes of searching, the most exciting thing they had found were chocolate chips. The doorbell had only rung once during their search, which caused both boys to freeze up. Luckily, Mr. Albers' muffled yells were not loud enough to be heard from the outside, and the tricker treater had continued on their way. 

The boys had come to the decision that they needed to consult with the homeowner if their mission would have any chance of success. They stood in front of the very angry old man. Brandon pointed his index finger in warning before he pulled down the gag. Mr. Albers took heavy breaths as he scowled at them. 

"Are you... out of... your minds?!" 

Brandon leaned over him. "Where are they?" 

"Where's what?" Mr. Albers replies. 

"The king-sized candy bars. We earned them!"

Mr. Albers stares at them for a moment. "So you aren't robbing me? This is all for goddamn candy?!"

The boys just stared at him, still angry at the injustice towards them, but the old man's words still had an impact on them. They felt bad for what they had done, just a little. Despite this, they held their ground. 

"Where are the king-sized candy bars?" Jake demanded this time. 

Mr, Albers sighs. "What do you mean you earned them?"

"Because we put a lot of thought into our costumes!" Brandon insists. 

"Yeah. And they're cool. We look just like them!" Jake adds. 

"It seems like you boys don't know what it takes to get the king-sized candy bars, then." Mr. Albers said this hesitantly, as it is never a good idea to upset your kidnappers. The boys exchanged confused glances. 

"Elaborate," they said at the same time.

"I knew what your costumes were. I always know. I just pretend to see how trick-or-treaters will react. If they are patient with me, they get the bigger candy bars. If they get snappy with me, they don't."

Brandon scoffed. "But that's not fair! You can't use Halloween to test kids!" 

"It is fair. I'm teaching manners. Besides, everyone gets the same candy they would at any other house anyway." 

"Fine." Jake said. "We are sorry for being ‘snappy.' He waited a few seconds before he added on. "Now can we get the king-sized candy bars?"

"NO!" His eyes darken. "When your parents find out about this..." 

"They won't believe you. They'll just think you're going crazy ‘cause of your age." Brandon and Jake crossed their arms in an attempt to be intimidating. Mr. Albers sighs. 

"Bottom of the candy bowl."

The boys didn't waste a second. They went straight for it, digging their paws deep until they pulled out a king-sized Crunch and a Hershey's. 

"All right!" Exclaimed Jake. 

"You got your candy. Now, untie me."

Finally, the boys did as they were told and untied their 80-year-old neighbor. They quickly collected their things and went for the door. As soon as they did, they saw the flash of police lights outside the front window. The trick-or-treater had heard Mr. Albers after all. 

Mr Albers chuckled. "See. Now those are some good manners."