their ocean
of avenues
For I have come
to a conclusion—some
bastion
of sand
from which I
...
[+]
Minnie was a smart, good girl.
When Minnie was two years old, her doctor diagnosed her with autism. She would never be a regular kid after that. Which meant, as she grew older in school, Minnie knew that she would have to give back to her family.
Because she knew that she was an inconvenience.
Playtime? Minnie read books. Recess? Minnie would write book reports and use that as extra credit for her teachers? Low grades? Out of the question! The thought of anything lower than a B made Minnie twitch.
Minnie was a smart, good girl.
When Minnie was eleven years old, she moved to a new school. She knew that she would have to work harder, especially since she was growing. Her parents were proud of her, and this made Minnie happy. She had to give back to her family.
But Minnie wasn't a normal kid.
The meltdowns, cries, and wails that left her little mouth. Minnie had begun failing her classes. A pre-teen who was now experiencing bullying by her peers. She could feel their stares burn into her skin; she could hear their comments rattle in her head. Her parents were disappointed in her; they said that to her face.
"I'm sorry," Minnie wailed, hugging her mother tightly. She had just confessed to her mother that she didn't want to be alive anymore. Minnie was now thirteen, and her report card had a dreadful D smacked in the middle. Minnie felt worthless; she wasn't normal. This wasn't normal for a little kid to say.
So, when Minnie grew older, she became a bottle. A bottle of emotions that grew and grew more as she became older. Minnie got good grades again, she volunteered at the library, she started going to church with her family, and she prayed along with the rest of the adults who thought she was a remarkable young lady. Her parents beamed with pride as they told her how this was how they wanted her to be.
A smart, good girl.
That was all Minnie was.
But Minnie had a secret.
Minnie would spend her time online, chatting and communicating with people from all over the globe. People who were like Minnie were also bottles of emotions, waiting to be broken. Minnie never felt so connected; she was a bottle amongst a sea. The waves pushed her closer to these other bottles. Minnie was at the shore of her island, putting her messages in a bottle, hoping that the waves would deliver her words to others.
This went on for a few years. Her parents never found out.
Then, when Minnie became an adult, she met Ivy.
Oh, her beautiful Ivy.
Her bottle was lost at sea for a while, waiting for someone to pick it up. But then, her bottle found Ivy. A woman with freckled skin like the sand she stepped on to grab that bottle, she found Minnie's message. The two talked, became closer, and eventually they became lovers. Oh, Ivy, the only one in the world who opened Minnie's bottle and allowed her to pour her emotions out.
Minnie was a smart, good girl. At least... she was supposed to.
Ivy was different. She was passionate, beautiful, and kind-hearted, unlike Minnie. Minnie was aggressive, depressed, and lonely. Ivy was the sun, and Minnie was the dark clouds. But that didn't make Ivy hate her any less. Ivy brought warmth; she brought light, which made Minnie smile. For the first time in her life, Minnie had someone else to live life for.
But there was a problem.
Minnie and Ivy were still lost at sea.
The sea of the internet meant they never saw each other in person! Not only that, but they were both girls! Oh, what would mother think? Knowing her honor roll daughter was imagining kissing and embracing another woman. Minnie spent so many nights when she was supposed to pray, imagining Ivy's sun embracing her body, her petals blooming and flourishing under her light.
She had apologized to God so many times for that.
What would God think? Would God think any less of her? Would he shame her? She was always taught that God forgave sinners, but Minnie didn't want to be a sinner. She didn't want to burn in hell because she disobeyed her parents and imagined a woman deflowering her instead of a man. Was that bad?
Minnie was a smart, good girl.
She talked with Ivy, where she made the plan for Ivy to travel the seas to find Minnie on her island. Her heart was blooming; she would see Ivy! Oh, what joy!
But Minnie thinks about her parents.
What would they think? She just saw her father complain about seeing two men kiss on television! Oh dear, this would be horrible.
But Minnie, for the first time in her life, had passion.
She was passionate; she wanted to see the person who had brought so much enlightenment and joy into her life. Ivy knew that Minnie wasn't just a woman whose only purpose in life was to study and act normally. She knew Minnie wasn't just a woman who was different from everyone else because of her autism. Ivy knew that Minnie was Minnie.
And that was more than Minnie could ask for.
So, one day, she sat her parents down and told them. Minnie remembers the screams, the cries, her father telling her that she was sinning. What would God say? What would her family say?
Minnie cried a lot that day.
Despite that, she went all in. She told her parents her feelings, and her bottle broke. Emotions spilled out like her tears. Her parents stared at her as Minnie tried being the smart, good girl for the last time. Minnie hated her mother. Minnie hated her father. Minnie hated God for just a second for thinking he made her parents this way.
Minnie left.
She got up and left as her family cried and screamed. They echoed and rattled in her head like the way her classmates bullied her. She slammed the door, never looking back.
Minnie saw the beach.
The bottom of her feet stung as she walked against the hot sand, trying not to step on seaweed and stones. Then, she reached the shore, feeling the way the sea's waves graced her bare ankles.
Minnie closed her eyes; the scent of salt and wood burned her nostrils. She felt the sun burn her skin.
Was that God burning her?
That didn't matter.
Minnie heard her name. She opened her eyes and saw Ivy on a boat, waving out to her. She beamed, her braced teeth shining from the sun's light. Minnie stomped into the ocean, trying to catch Ivy's boat as she helped Minnie in and embraced her.
Minnie was a smart, good girl.
A smart, good girl who would ride the boat out to sea.
A sea of wonder and possibilities.
Her bottle was broken, but her heart was complete as Ivy put the last piece.
And the two would set off to the sea of adventure.
All it took was a message in a bottle.