Across a wood-grain bar in southern Minnesota on the way to Buddy Holly roller coaster in slower Iowa, I lay a few dollars on the bar for the sixpack of Blatz (cheapest they got and straight from ... [+]
It was the 98th time – or perhaps the 99th. Sienna had long lost count. What was once indelible quickly turned faint and blurry after she relived her life so many times. Her life had turned upside down, owing to the strange but addictive phenomenon she was experiencing. Her environment changed with each loop, yet the plot always stayed the same.
"Here we go again." This routine had become second nature to her. She closed her eyes and dwelled in the pain as time turned back again. It wasn't the kind of physical pain you'd get from accidentally stubbing your toe against a cabinet – or from getting shampoo in your eyes, though she'd done that more times than she could count. Sienna would describe the pain as small but deliberate. It started off harmless, eventually taking over her entire life.
A gust of wind swept across her skin and caressed her face. A subtle scent of earth and sweetness lingered in the air as soft, sun-warmed blades of grass tickled her body. Her eyelids fluttered open as she basked in her new setting. As she rose to a seated position, Sienna's gaze was drawn to the massive castle in the distance. Even from the meadow on the outskirts where she sat, its presence was imposing.
Snapping out of her awe-struck daze, she glanced down. A baroque-styled ballgown. Was she in some sort of fairytale this time around?
"Lady Sienna." A familiar voice called out. Even without turning around, she knew who it was. Each loop reset the world, yet he remained one of the few constants.
"Kane." Her voice came out softer than she meant it to. She turned to look at him, only to be met with a polished suit of armour. "And what role are you playing this time?"
"Role? I am only your knight and your greatest friend, my lady." He smiled faintly. "Perhaps we ought to return, my lady."
"Will you escort me?"
"Always."
Kane offered his hands, and when she took them, she felt warmth. It seemed as if he had just held the sun; his palms radiated with a reassuring heat.
They wended their way toward the castle. Sienna couldn't help but browse the goods of merchants along the streets, though she wasn't alone in that. The duo laughed over oddly shaped trinkets and haggled for keepsakes they didn't really need. Among the countless shops and roadside stalls in the town square that drew their attention, it was a cozy yet nostalgic restaurant that made Sienna's heart ache.
"Shall we stop by for a quick lunch?" she asked, lingering outside.
Kane sighed heavily, though he would always say yes.
They sat by the window, the sunlight tickling their faces. Sienna watched as Kane unbuckled his armour, setting it gently on the floor. She noticed the same things she always did: his fluffy, wavy hair, his pristine clothes, and finally the plane ticket peeking from his pocket. Some words were left unspoken.
They shared a wonderful meal together; the kind filled with playful exchanges, gentle teasing, and occasional bursts of vulnerability and raw honesty. Conversations always came easy between the pair. But eventually, they knew it was time to go. The castle awaited.
The journey was long but enjoyable, filled with many moments Sienna would carve into her heart. Sienna had never cared much for long journeys. Maybe it was different because Kane was there. Their time together felt endless, yet it was nothing more than an illusion. The castle loomed ahead, growing larger and larger. Sienna ignored the uneasiness creeping into her heart as she took the final step into the castle.
"Sienna."
I don't want to hear it.
"I've enjoyed our time together."
I don't want to hear it.
"Let's keep in contact."
She didn't turn around. The figure behind her grew smaller with each step, but Sienna couldn't bear to look. And when she finally gathered the courage to call out to him, he was no longer there.
Her 100th life began differently. This time, she was seated in her classroom, the place they'd first met. A loud chime echoed through the barren halls as graduation banners fluttered on empty walls.
"Sienna."
The familiar scene played again.
"Kane." She paused for a while, taking a quick glance at the ticket in his left pocket. "Let's grab lunch at our usual spot, for memory's sake."
"It's not like you to act so serious." He waited for a response that never came, giving a quiet nod when he realised that Sienna wasn't playing around. "Okay, let's do that."
The walk to the diner was silent, without their usual banter or shared laughter. Even then, the red strings of fate that bound them together felt undeniable, at least to Sienna.
They went through the same exact motions: the intimate seat beside the window, the simple and comforting meal, the way he noticed that she wanted the strawberry on his cake, the way he gave it to her without any words shared. It was the small things he did that clung to her mind, refusing to leave.
Before long, their time was up. Sienna found herself back at the airport, steadying herself to let go, for time to rewind again. She turned around, unwilling to watch as Kane took slow steps towards the departure hall. She would describe herself as a pragmatic person, a realist. Despite her daydreams of him coming back to her, deep down, she believed that the only thing that would be left for her would be the memories they had shared.
"I'll be fine," she convinced herself. "Time heals everything."
She paused before spinning around without a word. Something inside her, a mix of exhaustion and courage, rose up and burned away her fears. A fire lit within her eyes, a glimmer of hope emerged from the deepest parts of her heart and soul. Feelings of trepidation overwhelmed her, but she was determined to follow through.
"Kane!"
Her loud, quivering voice cracked through the air, stopping Kane in his tracks.
"I like you."
And time stopped looping.