Courage of Faith

I always thought I had a strong belief in God and I could handle anything life threw my way. I would not shed many tears when a family member or friend left this Earth. I felt sort of heartless in that regard. My relationships with men were not much better. See, I had a humongous fear of being alone the rest of my life, since all of my relationships would fail miserably. Then, one day things began to look brighter.

I met an older, attractive man who made me believe in love again. Things were looking absolutely perfect, until a week after my birthday in March of 2016. This man, I fell so deeply in love with, had to get knee surgery and be put on prescription medicine. Little did I know, he would have a severe allergic reaction to the drug and die from a brain injury at 36 years old. I, a 27 year old woman at the time, felt my heart collapse and the world did not make any sense to me at all. My faith in the Lord became very shaken up.

I began questioning God’s motives and the constant questioning soon turns into anger. I remember my emotions feeling like a rollercoaster and I could not handle the ride. To discover my courage of faith, I basically had to surrender to the Lord. It did not happen overnight. I went through some therapy and a Grief Share group. None of these things were giving me peace. I finally told God I could not take the pain and I had a desperate need for deliverance. Well, God gave me more than my expectations had for him.

Throughout an entire year, I went through courage to have much more faith in God. The courage of faith gave me peace, when I could not understand where my circumstances were taking me. The man, I met two years ago, came into my life to teach me how to love, not be selfish, and to cherish the ones I love most. Now, at 29 years old, my smile is bigger than ever! I am a wife now and I take the challenging, tragic lessons I went through in the past, to help encourage someone in the faith. I want my courage of faith to inspire others to never give up. Have courage afraid. Fear holds us back, but courage sets us free.