An epyphany

2 min
“I want a divorce “, she yelled at him, while picking up the purse, and slamming the door before his perplexed eyes. That morning she woke up at the same time and did the same routine like every day. Something must have happened between Cuban coffee and toast, that she had the most revealing realization of her life. An immense sense of emptiness filled her soul, an uneasiness that could only be fulfilled by cutting the ties with everything that was important in her life.

While driving to work salty tears started to melt the shield of concealer in her face, a mixture of beige and black drops, stained the white blouse. “So much for waterproof mascara “, she though, while drying her face with a tissue paper. Indeed, she was tired, but no physically tired, it was a type of mental exhaustion, not easily cured by sleep or rest. She felt drained by the same routine, that she founded amusing, not so long ago. She was a hamster in a wheel, trying to push hard to make an impossible scape.

She got to work, after saying the “mandatory and very hypocrite good mornings”, she sat in front of the computer. An email from Human Resources with horrible news awaited. Turns out they were collecting money for man (that she did not know), who’s 22 years old wife and 5-month-old had died in a car crash. “How unfortunate “, she thought, while opening the drawer to get gum. Her cubicle neighbor started her morning routine of drinking coffee with coconut oil, a rancid smell filled the air. Another co-worker who was in the brink of retirement, took of the bra and her teeth. The usual conversations started to get louder and louder. They were saying the same banal things they said every day. “What did you have for dinner last night, or what did you bring to lunch today? “. She was not there anymore, her mind escaped her someplace else.

She got a call from her mother, who was visiting Cuba, after nearly 20 years, what a chock that must have been to her! Her mother went to visit a brother, who was getting married for the fourth time, and to see another brother who had laryngeal cancer. The tone of her mother voice made her annoyed. In the middle of the ceremony the sick brother couldn’t breath and they had to take him to the hospital, because the hospital didn’t have epinephrine, the brother died. The weeding continued. They paid the crematory, so they could cremate the body the same day, in only four hours, a whole life gone, reduced to mere ashes. In a same day a weeding, and a death, just a realistic reminder that we are nothing, and our lives are truly meaningless.

Her husband was calling her nonstop, probably he wanted an explanation, after a very irrational and erratic behavior early that morning, but she didn’t pick up the phone. Actually, she left her seat and went to congratulate a Palestinian coworker that recently got engaged.

Hours passed, like things that don’t mean anything usually do, but the same sense of uneasiness and anxiety made a reminder inside of her. She clocks out, grabbed her purse, and leaved work without saying goodbye... without saying goodbye. While driving back home, she had an epiphany, how stupid she was, all that craziness over nothing, her husband was the only person in the whole world to ever loved her completely. She tried to reach into her purse to grab her phone, accidentally the phone slipped into the floor of the car. Another car came towards her, crashing her side, and puncturing her life and her lungs. Her face sideways over the steering wheel, dripping warm blood into the white blouse. Her pupils dilated looking into the emptiness of nevermore. As her life slipped away from her body, the last though was... “I never got to tell him I love him “.

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