Jenny Moore was the first ever UK winner of the Commonwealth Short Story Competition and was shortlisted for the Greenhouse Funny Prize. Her numerous funny children’s books are published by Maverick and New Frontier and her psychological thrillers 'The Woman Before' and 'The Wilderness Retreat' (writing as Jennifer Moore) are published by Harper Collins. "Pupthagoras the Wonder Dog" is in Short Circuit #16, Short Édition's quarterly review.

Pupthagoras Barkimedes Brown was no ordinary dog. He was a woofety wonder-mutt with intelligent eyes and a head full of amazing ideas. Even his fleas were clever.
 
While normal dogs ran around thinking normal dog thoughts like, "What's that disgusting thing over there? I must stick my nose in it at once!" Pupthagoras was busy working out tricky math sums. He wrote perfect poems in his sleep and spoke fourteen different languages.  Unfortunately, to human ears they all sounded the same: Bark, bark, barkety-bark. Pant pant bark.
 
He knew the answers to all Finn's math homework and Mum and Dad's crossword clues.  But it was no good trying to tell them.  All they heard was, Woof, woof, woofety-woof. Pant, pant woof. And when Pupthagoras asked them to enter him into the Cleverest Canine Contest all they heard was, Bark, woof, ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrowl.
 
The family never guessed there was a real-life genius licking gravy drips up off the floor. At least, not until Dad tripped over Pupthagoras' tail, sending a bowl of Honey Nut Alphabet Bites flying across the kitchen.
 
"Oof!" said Dad.
Wheeeeeee! went the alphabet bites.
 
Pupthagoras got to work at once, rearranging sticky cereal letters on the floor:
 
O-O-P-S
B-I-T   O-F   A   M-E-S-S
S-O-R-R-Y   A-B-O-U-T   T-H-A-T
W-H-A-T  A-B-O-U-T  T-H-E  C-L-E-V-E-R-E-S-T  C-A-N-I-N-E  C-O-N-T-E-S-T
 
He fetched the newspaper advert to show them, then wagged his tail and waited . . .
 
"Amazing!" said Mum.  "We'll enter you at once!"
"Wowzers!" said Finn, hugging him.  "You're bound to win first prize!"
 "Bother!" said Dad.  "We'll have to eat toast instead."
 
***
 
The next day the family bought up every box of Honey Nut Alphabet Bites in the store.
 
"Are you sure about this?" asked Mum, as she filled out the entry form.
Y-E-S
"Won't you be nervous?" asked Finn.
N-O-T  I-F  Y-O-U  C-O-M-E  W-I-T-H   M-E
"Was it you who did a wee on my roses?" asked Dad.
E-R   Y-E-S
S-O-R-R-Y   A-B-O-U-T   T-H-A-T
 
"The dog's a mastermind," marveled Mum.
"He's a superstar!" said Finn, tickling his fur.
"It took me ages to grow those flowers," grumbled Dad.
 
The next week the family bought up every single box of Honey Nut Alphabet Bites in town and set off for the Cleverest Canine Contest.
 
Pupthagoras felt a bit nervous when he saw the other dogs in the competition. There was a dancing Dalmatian, a bike-riding basset hound, and a pair of poodles who howled the national anthem.  But with Finn there to cheer him on, he soon spelled his way to victory.
 
First prize was a year's supply of dog biscuits and a once-in-a-lifetime trip into space.
 
"You'll be the first dog in the world to visit Pluto . . ." the scientists explained.
". . . But there's only room for one on board."
 
"What do you think, boy?" said Finn, tipping out the last few cereal letters.  "Do you fancy a ride in a rocket?"
 
Pupthagoras thought.
He thought about the exciting things he'd see in space.
He thought about the amazing facts he'd learn along the way.
He thought about his scruffy old dog basket under the kitchen table.
And then he got to work . . .
 
I    W-A-N-T   T-O   G-O he wrote . . . and that, it seemed was that. Or was it?
 
"Goodbye, boy," said Mum and Dad, as the space scientists strapped Pupthagoras into his seat.
"Don't forget us," said Finn, wiping away a tear.
 
"Wait!" cried Pupthagoras.  "I ran out of letters.  I  W-A-N-T   T-O   G-O   H-O-M-E. That's what I was trying to write!" 
But all the family heard was, Barkety-barkety-barkety-bark, woof, woof, ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrowl.
 
***
 
Pupthagoras was scared and lonely flying through space on his own. And the more he thought about leaving his best friend behind, the lonelier he felt.
Of course he'd never forget Finn. But what if Finn forgot him?
 
Pupthagoras stared through the rocket telescope at his old town, feeling sadder than ever. He zoomed in on his old house to see if Finn had replaced him with a new pet yet. Would there be another dog curled up in his basket? A cat curled up on the sofa? A cute, furry rabbit curled up on Finn's lap?
 
But wait a minute, what was that? Not a rabbit. Not a cat. And definitely not another dog. It was a message!
 
"WE MISS YOU PUPTHAGORAS," read the bright letters on the roof, spelled out in Christmas lights. 
"PLEASE COME BACK," said the message on the front drive, spelled out in twigs and leaves. 
"P.S." said the hand drawn sign Finn was holding. "IT DOESN'T MATTER ABOUT THE ROSES. DAD'S PLANTED CABBAGES INSTEAD."
 
Pupthagoras wagged his tail, his eyes glistening with happiness. Finn hadn't forgotten him at all!
"I'm coming!" he barked, grabbing hold of the rocket controls and resetting a course for Earth. 
 
***
 
It was so good to be home. Nothing had changed. Nothing at all.
 
"Are you back to stay?" asked Mum, tipping out some fresh Honey Nut Alphabet bites.
Y-E-S 
"Did you miss me?" asked Finn, ruffling his fur.
M-O-R-E   T-H-A-N   W-O-R-D-S   C-A-N   S-A-Y
"Was it you who parked that rocket in the cabbage patch?" asked Dad.
E-R   Y-E-S
S-O-R-R-Y   A-B-O-U-T   T-H-A-T

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