2
min

Adorable snakes

Image of J.M. Raynaud

J.M. Raynaud

140 readings

58 votes

In competition

Karl and Martha, two German scientists, work together in a research laboratory. Their work focuses on poisonous snakes, studying their most dangerous specimens in order to develop bite antidotes. They want to find a universal formula to avoid many deaths and paralyses. The laboratory consists of a gigantic vivarium in which about fifty of the most formidable animals live. Their size is impressive, and it is not uncommon for them to devour each other.
For their experiments, Karl and Martha must regularly catch snakes; they do so with large restraint pliers, which forcefully hold the reptile heads away from the scientists' bodies. The animals fiercely hate Karl and Martha, their sadistic torturers.
One morning, Karl has to leave because of an emergency at the nearby zoo. So Martha works alone in the laboratory. She needs to catch one of the most aggressive snakes. She holds the pliers with dexterity but imperceptibly, deprived of Karl at her side, she feels less confident than usual. The animal, a female, feels it immediately. With its head immobilized at the end of the pliers, the beast manages to propel its body by an unnatural movement, so that it is able to grab Martha's right arm. The snake crushes with all its strength, and Martha's hand wobbles like a rag doll, no longer able to hold the pliers. The next step seems inevitable: the animal throws its head towards the tender and fragrant flesh of Martha's face, in a dazzling animal spirit.
However, the scientist still carries a huge knife in her gown pocket. She grabs it with her left hand and literally knocks out the snake. It's like stunned, but it has time to bite Martha on the thigh, just before it collapses.
Martha reacts very quickly, tightens the grip of the pliers around the neck of the animal and puts it back in the vivarium. However, the scientist is beginning to feel the effects of the bite. She knows she can't survive a long time. Calling 911 won't save her, they won't have anything to heal her. She rushes to a vial stored in the refrigerator: the antidote being developed. She knows it hasn't been tested enough, but what's the other issue?
Martha absorbs the vial and sits down. Her heart is accelerating. She believes her end is near, yet her condition is improving rapidly, perhaps too much. She feels metamorphosed and sees that the skin of her arms is cracking, already leaving space for a few scales. In about ten minutes, the scientist is transformed. She has mutated into a brown, shiny and agile snake.
Karl comes back from the zoo at this very moment. Nose to nose with the snake, Karl legitimately believes that it has escaped from the vivarium. He grabs a pair of pliers, grabs the reptile and throws it into the vivarium.
Martha's suffocating. She can already see all the snakes coming forward. They have recognized her and their hatred is prodigious. They run at her in an infamous and whistling gurgling.

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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud  Comment of the author · ago
Sorry for this bad English, I'm French...
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Image of Not-Only But-Also Riley
Not-Only But-Also Riley · ago
I wish I could read it in French, but the English is really not bad at all. Something about this story feels to me like an episode of a horror anthology show, where the character has some sort of ironic, terrible justice done to them. I love stuff like that, and this especially has that feel. On top of that, you've managed to create that in so few words, which is even more impressive. Overall, this is a great story, and I really appreciate how fun (albeit, dark) it is. Oh, and one more thing: can't help but comment on the irony of the title. Good work with that too.
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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
I appreciate !!!!
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Image of Elizabeth
Elizabeth · ago
Bonjur! I speak very little French but I just want to say great job! You are so talented! I invite you to check out my story if you get the chance!
https://short-edition.com/en/story/1-min/the-life-of-a-balloon-2

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Image of GITA
GITA · ago
Pourquoi "an infamous and whistling gurgling.?" Ces trois mots pour ne pas aller ensemble. C'est domage
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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
un gargouillis infâme et sifflant
c'était mes mots en français

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Image of Diamantina Richard
Diamantina Richard · ago
J'ai lu en anglais puis en français et ben c'est vachement bien (heu reptilement bien) . J'ai adoré ton histoire, ça ferait un joli petit court métrage tu sais genre "les contes de la crypte" ou bien dans la veine des histoires comme dans "Chair de Poule"
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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
merci de tous ces compliments !
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Image of Joëlle Brethes
Joëlle Brethes · ago
I'm very sad for this poor Martha and cross… with YOU !!! :(
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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
cross : se signer ?
Thanks

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Image of Joëlle Brethes
Joëlle Brethes · ago
No : I'm very "angry" ! You are a monster of cruelty !
Mais finalement, signe-toi en effet car tu vas peut-être subir l'ire de toutes les féministes qui te liront ;) ;) ;)

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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
la femme Martha est avant tout attaquée par un serpent femelle. C'est un combat dont les hommes ne sont pas vraiment responsables :))
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Image of Joëlle Brethes
Joëlle Brethes · ago
Ouh ! le vilain hypocrite ;)
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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
Voyons, je m'appelle peut-être Justine-Marie
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Image of Cruzamor
Cruzamor · ago
Well I try tu put some words ... : Very scary, really ! yet this is only justice but why only the woman ? lol ! Je t'offre quand même mes 5 voix ... j'ai tenté aussi la prouesse d'écrire dans cette langue ... je te préviendrai quand et surtout "si" je publie ! lol !
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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
I'm so glad you came !!
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Image of Ginette Vijaya
Ginette Vijaya · ago
Horrible ! Je suis définitivement fâchée avec les reptiles !
Vous développez vos expériences de laboratoire en même temps que votre anglais que j'aime bien car j'ai tout compris .
Bonne continuation et bonne journée .

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Image of J.M. Raynaud
J.M. Raynaud · ago
alors là, vraiment merci. Vous me faites sourire devant mon ordi.
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Image of Marie Quinio
Marie Quinio · ago
bravo pour la prose en anglais !! j'aurais peut être préféré le texte écrit au prétérit plutôt qu'au présent... mais ce n'est que mon avis :) you're not a story teller but a "scary teller" ;) well done J.M.
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