It's Friday evening. No classes are in session while the sun is setting below the horizon. I lie in bed, enveloped in my throw blanket with a bowl of popcorn, watching The Little Mermaid on my MacBook Air. Ariel's voice serenades my ears when she sings "Part of Your World." My head sways side to side, mesmerized by the melodic belts of her crescendos and decrescendos. After Ariel's solo is over, my eyes begin to feel heavier and heavier. I force myself to stay awake by propping myself up against the headboard of my bed. My head bucks forward, and I wake up just before it completely falls out of my control. My eyes shoot wide open; the sound of my alarm echoes in my bedroom. I instantly pick up my phone and read the time on the lit-up screen: 10:30 PM. Crap, I fell asleep through the movie! I don't remember where I left off before passing out.

 

I drag myself out of bed to freshen up for the night. After I get out of the shower and put on my night clothes, I hop back in bed and ring my mom on WhatsApp video call. She answers the phone, and we give each other a recap of how our day went and talk about our plans for this coming weekend.

"Mom, you're falling asleep again," I point out.

"No, I'm not; I'm listening to what you're saying," Mom refutes.

"I think we should call it a night and go to sleep."

"Alright, goodnight, Romy. I love you and get some rest."

"Goodnight, Mom. I love you too. Sleep well."

"Are you actually going to bed?" Mom interrogates.

"I'll try to, but I took a nap earlier," I respond.

"You need to put the phone down and get more sleep!"

"Are you really going to bring this up every time we call?"

"Romy, I'm just worried that you're not getting enough rest, especially with all the classes you're taking."

"I understand where you're coming from, but it's the weekend, and I can sleep in tomorrow."

"So you're going to stay up late then?"

"Probably. I might watch another movie until I fall asleep."

"Okay, goodnight. I love you, Romy."

"I love you too, Mom."

"I can't wait for you to come back home next weekend. I miss you so much," Mom confesses.

"I can't wait either. I miss you and everyone at home," I admit.

"I'll let you go now; I don't want to keep you up. Goodnight again."

"Night night!"

 

I click the red circle on my phone and the video call ends. Instead of shutting my eyes right away, I scroll through the chat logs I have on WhatsApp. I stop at the contact I haven't spoken to since last year: Dad. I wonder how life's been treating him. It's been a while since we last called or texted. I think it's best if I distance myself from him because of what happened during our phone call a year ago. I wish he could understand my side of things. He hasn't been a huge part of my life whatsoever. The most he's done was ship gifts to my house or send me money via Zelle and Cash App. All he expects in return is a phone call or a text that celebrates him or says, "Happy Father's Day." I don't know what kind of reciprocation that is, but it's surely more of a transaction than a relationship between a father and his daughter. 

 

I shut my phone down and put it on the nightstand beside me. I threw my head back onto the pillow as my thoughts began to spiral. A random thought started sticking out to me about The Little Mermaid. I envy that Ariel had it so easy in her whimsical fairy tale. Even though King Triton forbade her from exploring the human world, she still had him as her father, who was there for Ariel and cherished her very much, as he did with his late wife. She also has older sisters, just like I do. I dwell on the fact that I would love more than anything to live Ariel's life, with a father present in every aspect: physically, mentally, and emotionally. I close my eyes and go into a deep slumber.

 

I twist and turn, dreading the thought of today's tension. Having to catch up on assignments I've been procrastinating on and hustle around the college apartment to finish my designated chores are the death of me. Something doesn't seem to be sitting right with my stomach. I feel like I'm submerged in water, drowning and struggling to breathe my last breath. I woke up from my sleep, or so I thought. Am I lucid dreaming right now??! I look around and realize that I'm underwater and feel a choking fit coming on. I push myself up with my arms to ascend towards the water's surface. I notice that it's not a challenge for me to swim, which I find odd since I failed my swimming classes during the summer before entering 4th grade. 

My head emerges from the ocean, and I swim to the closest thing I can find. I spot a buoy afloat, waving to me right in my line of sight. I feel like something is dragging me along as I swim closer to the buoy. I hoist up on the buoy to regain my composure. I try to sit up against the buoy, but fail miserably. My body lies limp over the cold steel of the buoy, a floating beacon of hope and safety in the open water. I look over my shoulder, and my eyes lock on the seafoam mermaid tail protruding from the lower half of my body. Then I look down at my chest, accentuating an iridescent white shell bra. I well up with anxiety, triggering my fight-or-flight response: I choose to flee. I yelp and am so shaken up that the buoy hurls and flips me overboard into the vast sea. I sink away from the surface, drifting down into the ocean's deep embrace. 

I won't settle for sinking into oblivion. The ponderous, overwhelming weight on my human limbs dissipates and turns into a sudden, weightless rush of energy. My seafoam fin propels me forward through the current with a graceful glide, never having known a thrill like this on land. I whirl in paradise as I weave my way around the school of fish. Past the kelp forest, a breathtaking kingdom, glimmering with vibrant marine life and ethereal radiance, flourishes in the distance. This can't be Atlantica, can it? 

 

I glimpse the grand, elegant royal castle, embodying an undersea fortress. I approach the pearly, shimmering door that's left ajar. I contemplate whether to go inside the palace. I've made it this far, so there's no point in turning back. I enter the castle and take in the opulent view of the foyer. A figure emerges from the corner of the stairs and descends the steps. Is that King Triton? Or so I thought. As he gets closer, a sense of familiarity washes over me. I can recognize that face from anywhere.

"Dad? Is that you?" I blurt out.

"Who are you, and why are you in my residence?" The man dismisses.

"I'm Romy, your daughter."

"Wow, you've grown up so much."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm the King of Atlantica."

"Wait, I'm in Atlantica??"

"Yes, dear, you are. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"What do you mean anything else? I just got here. I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Well, who do you think you were going to see, Romy?"

"I'm not sure."

"I think it's time for you to leave. You are wasting my precious time."

"But Dad-" I hesitate.

"I am not your father." Dad interrupts. 

"Oh...I understand. You don't want anything to do with me."

 

Silence hangs in the atmosphere, bringing me to a conclusion I've had to come down to no matter the circumstances. I leave. I turn around and see myself out. I rest on a small rock, feeling alone and lesser than. He wants nothing to do with me. He didn't acknowledge the fact that I was one of his own. And here I thought things would be different, but in the end it turned out worse for me. I'm better off in my reality than I am here; a fish out of water.