To Quit On Sunday

To Quit on Sunday:
Debt free
Investments decent
Savings is minimal
No plan
Probably meet a piece of shit.
Get knocked up.
Well.
Because we never got around to doing that.
Where you at Athabascan?
Got to keep the Bloodline Pure
Probably be a girl ..Curse of my Real mother
Take any job...because working hard is the only Way to work
Got to make those ends meet.
Section 8.
WIC.
Hand to mouth.
Paycheck to almost paycheck
She’d be overindulged.
as there’s long hours & overcompensate.
A teen mom at 16, because why wouldn’t she?
Imbecile.
She'd be Weak & Runaway.
At 57, raising the grandson
who’d be a Man of 2 colors
the Perpetuation of The Struggle.
Disadvantages Against Us
Ache & pain
Knees are shot from all the physical labor
when you were Younger
Hobble along
First morning stretch is a killer
Wake him for school
Give him the tip money to pay for his reduced lunches at 40 cents
Maybe a little extra for juice
Cant walk him to school as there’s the bus to catch to work
Feel Guilty
as he has to Fiend for himself every morning
Worry with Guilt
Daughter has a couple more kids lost to the System
as she goes from Boyfriend to Boyfriend
Grandkids you’ll never got to see
Her Father left long ago
Lost to the Streets
Have No Ambitions
No Grandeur of Life more than This
Take Books
And make Grandson Read & Read
As he’ll be all the Best Parts
Work & Walk
Got to get home
Grandsons Waiting
Its Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese Tonight
In the Kitchen..
A Flashback
Remembering one of your doctor’s saying
“if you don’t get a handle on your heart, you’re going to be looking at
Congestive Heart Failure someday,”
...and stop & shake your head
to put the thought out of your head
Then Freeze
Knowing you can Feel it...
Like a Jello Bundt Mold Quivering in your torso
72 years old.
Put a hand over your chest feeling the Last Beats
As the Ladle drops
Grandson is in the Livingroom
Dead before hit the floor
Enlarged Heart
Thinned Walls
Muscle deteriorated & Ripped Apart
Grandson would be sent into the System
Not standing a chance
New home to New Home
Leads to Petty Juvenile Crime
As he is all the best parts
Which means hes Wicked smart
Then he fosters out
Half Native Half Black
In the Wrong place at the Wrong time
With the wrong people
Shot Dead
Statistically.
He didn’t have Chance.
Last Thoughts are of the Words of a father
“You don’t think 30 years goes by fast & it does,”
If I Quit on Sunday...

 

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