Who am I?
Who has planted in my mind
That to understand me
I must look back in time?

**

Mom played
Ran circles around her home—
A fortress used by her mother to create more distance.
She couldn’t penetrate it or her mother’s heart.
In the cold, northern winter air, her small jacket hugged tightly as her only warm embrace.
This urban poverty didn’t feel much like the freedom Big Mama had hoped for.
Mom dreamed of a better life.
She wasn’t to be stopped.

*

Grandma played
She listened to the sound of her mother’s angelic voice.
It soothed both children within this one daughter.
Her teetering father was a humble man who cared too much
She couldn’t make her mom see past his failures.
They both left him behind for greener pastures
She never looked back.
Grandma dreamed of a simple life of love, mental health, and married-into wealth.
The children?— The babies always grew up.

*

Big Mama played
Surrounded by the rural open earth of oppressive crops,
The Black daughter of a white man.
Her fair skin wasn’t light enough to keep him alive.
Big Mama dreamed he wasn’t killed by bigots. He promised to take her to the park and play.
She said ‘I will make it in the American City up north.
Life has got to be better there.’

**

I played.
Constantly exploring, asking questions and being busy.
Who am I?
I feel the determination.
Who am I?
I feel the draw to find mental calm.
Who am I?
I feel the longing for societal peace to replace personal tragedy.
They steer me.
I am me alone but also a sum of them.