Trapped In a Jar


ago
2 min
2 977
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1400
Winner
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Hey everyone, My name is Vansh Malhotra, and I am originally from India. Everyone loves to call me poetic as I am passionate about writing poems in English and French on various topics that ... [+]

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Image of Short Fiction

© Short Édition - All Rights Reserved

My lungs became sore from screaming, but their ears did not become deaf from hearing as I continuously kept pleading to them to let me go. My head started to spin, and I felt pukish enclosed in that tiny jar how I cursed myself for not listening to my parents when they advised me not to wander alone to another planet by myself. But I became belligerent with this idea. I thought that I was an adult who could make independent decisions with no interference from anyone, so I operated the spaceship myself one night and escaped to planet Mars without telling anyone. And here I ended as a prisoner for these aliens who wanted to practise various experiments on me and had idolized me in an enclosed jar like a specimen. My eyes swell with tears as I patiently endure their selfishness while battling sickness. Then suddenly, my heart skipped a beat as I saw an alien withdrawing a surgical knife from a cupboard and approaching me. Will I be alive to see the following day sun on planet Earth?

I flooded the entire room with pleading wails as the menacing paws of the alien touched my face. But he just laughed, seeing my condition as if he was meddling with a Barbie doll. Other aliens started clapping their hands together and capered with excitement as if about to win a Nobel Prize. The alien drew me outside and tied me around a boulder while his eyes gleamed with pride. He drew out his dagger knife and swivelled it numerous times in the air. Then holding it firmly, he moved it threateningly towards my direction.

Instantly one alien came running around the door and muttered something to my assassin in his language, who nodded his head and ordered his fellow aliens to put me back in the jar again. The aliens had left to discuss some critical conference meeting and left me alone in that enclosed jar to perish. Who would have believed that this conference would be a turning point in my life?

The wind started shaking tremendously outside as one alien had left the window open. And suddenly, a huge gust blew by my jar and tipped it sideways. Like lightning, I hurried out of the pot and hopped out of the window back to my spaceship, vowing to never return to this forbidding planet. I reached planet Earth safely and greeted my family, who cheerfully wept upon seeing me. I apologized to my parents for not listening to them and admitted my mistake. They hugged me tightly.

Moral:- Think twice before proceeding to do anything.
1400

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Image of Vansh Malhotra
Vansh Malhotra · ago
Thanks a lot, everyone, for your constant support !!
Image of Keith Simmonds
Keith Simmonds · ago
Congratulations, Vansh!
Image of Vansh Malhotra
Vansh Malhotra · ago
Thanks, Keith!!
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Patricia Besson · ago
Qui tente rien...très belle histoire surprenante. Restons les pieds sur terre🙃😉 bravo toutes mes voix
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Yasmin Somani · ago
Great imagination!
All the best Vansh!

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Aye Brandon · ago
Good moral lesson
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MIchael Finch · ago
A good read Vansh.
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Martine Galati · ago
J'aime bien. Merci
Image of Olivier Descamps
Olivier Descamps · ago
Une morale illustrée par un récit SF de qualité.
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Cristo R · ago
Exciting science fiction story . Well done
Image of Cristo R
Cristo R · ago
Exciting story of science fiction plus suspense.
Image of Ralph Nouger
Ralph Nouger · ago
Un bon récit de fiction.
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Image of Joëlle Brethes
Joëlle Brethes · ago
I'm sure that now, you will listen to your parents !
Image of Vansh Malhotra
Vansh Malhotra · ago
Yes, I definitely will:)
Image of Chiranjeev Singh
Chiranjeev Singh · ago
Well written Vansh. Great imagination. Keep up the good work
Image of Alkos K
Alkos K · ago
Bon récit de science-fiction.
Image of Arun Tandan
Arun Tandan · ago
Well done. Keep it up!
Image of Nicole Proton-Charlier
Nicole Proton-Charlier · ago
Bonjour, une histoire bien menée mais je n'ai pas compris si le personnage vient de la Terre et s'est échappé vers Mars où il devient prisonnier , ou bien s'il est de Mars (donc on ignore sa forme) et les Terriens le prennent comme prisonnier dans un labo ? désolée, peut-être un problème avec mon anglais pas 100 % top ;) mais dans un sens ou dans l'autre le suspense est bien transcris.
Image of Vansh Malhotra
Vansh Malhotra · ago
Bonjour Nicole,

Le personnage vient de la Terre et s'échappé vers Mars où il devient prisonnier:)

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Dominique Mutel · ago
Une situation qui pourrait très bien illustrer une séquence d'un film de science fiction.
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Image of Bozlich B
Bozlich B · ago
Is this story based on something that really happened to you? Did you actually personally go through this experience?
Image of Vansh Malhotra
Vansh Malhotra · ago
Hi Bozlich,
I got a dream a few months back where this entire story happened and that inspired me to write it. Dunno if you call it a dream or a nightmare haha:)

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Sawan Kumar · ago
Keep doing the good work
Image of François Duvernois
François Duvernois · ago
Bonne chance, Vansh
Image of Viviane Fournier
Viviane Fournier · ago
Belle lecture et belle histoire, bonne chance à vous !
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Michael Riordan · ago
Scarily effective...
Image of Cyril BECKER
Cyril BECKER · ago
Nice job Vansh keep on going with positive thinking
Image of Said Meziane
Said Meziane · ago
Un conte des temps modernes! Bravo
Image of Ajay Gupta
Ajay Gupta · ago
Great work. Keep it up
Image of Felix Culpa
Felix Culpa · ago
Take me back to this planet ! My five votes !!!
Image of Blake Marshal
Blake Marshal · ago
Seems like you might have great computer skills
Image of Phil Bottle
Phil Bottle · ago
Mes trois soucoupes volantes pour fêter ce retour d'une planète où les mœurs semblaient si proche de celles de nos chers sauvages... indiens ou canibales...
Et une bien bonne morale!

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Ritika Saini · ago
Good Luck 🤞
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Fade D · ago
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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Sudeep Bhatia · ago
Probably we have been doing this to many species from our own planet
Image of Veena Rekhi
Veena Rekhi · ago
keep rocking .. good luck
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natasha kohli · ago
yet again another great piece. in awe with ur writing. <33
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Monica Solano · ago
Great write my friend! All my luck to you!…
Image of Payal Malhotrac
Payal Malhotrac · ago
Superb vansh.u r magical with writing and expressing. Briilant write up.all the luck
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Puja Pahuja · ago
Wishing u all the best!
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Catherine Jackson · ago
Another great piece 👏🏻 Thanks for sharing. Wishing you the best of luck 👍🏻
Image of Sar M
Sar M · ago
Good luck !
Image of Preeti Hora
Preeti Hora · ago
Vansh you have written a very good story, GOD BLESS !
Image of Neha Nandrajog
Neha Nandrajog · ago
Great imagination and moral!
Keep going Vansh

Image of Savita Malhotra
Savita Malhotra · ago
So well described.U r genius.
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Sneh Lata Piplani · ago
Amazing. Best of luck!
Image of Deepak Kohli
Deepak Kohli · ago
You are amazing ! Keep up the good work Vansh
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Shailaja Gauri · ago
Amazing!! God bless
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Hkl Sachdeva · ago
Hip Hip Hurray
Image of Seema Kapur
Seema Kapur · ago
Nicely written..👌👏
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Zainab Ansari · ago
Remarkable. Amazing talented and interesting story
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Chipper Roth · ago
Now I don’t wanna go to Mars
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Jismy Pauly · ago
Nice …👏🏻👏🏻
Image of Seema Abrol
Seema Abrol · ago
You feel the character before expressing, your effort and thought shows in your poetry Vansh
Image of Ria Dua
Ria Dua · ago
Nice meaningful story 👏👏👍
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Lucas Thornton · ago
You're lowing us out of the water with votes. Second place has 33 votes and you have 195. Bruh.
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Rishabh Istwal · ago
बधाई हो vansh
Image of Keith Simmonds
Keith Simmonds · ago
Congratulations, Vansh!
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Animon Sachdeva · ago
sounds like something out of a movie! wow
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Priya Piplani · ago
Nice all the best
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Simrita Arora · ago
Nice moral, very meaningful
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Sandeep Malhotra · ago
Amazing..Love it
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Vansh Malhotra · ago
Once again, warm thank-you to everyone for their support !!
Image of Lohit Goyal
Lohit Goyal · ago
Very nice Vansh
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Melanie Young · ago
Very engaging !
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Ravneet Kaur · ago
Great moral👍
Image of Deepak Kohli
Deepak Kohli · ago
Awesome dear, keep it up 👍👍
Image of Ritika Saini
Ritika Saini · ago
A Great Moral that we often forget.
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Augusta Forte · ago
Truths passed through words, very beautiful 🌷
Image of Jessica Giger
Jessica Giger · ago
Done! dragonspen147
Image of Seema Abrol
Seema Abrol · ago
Beautiful Vansh
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Catherine Jackson · ago
Great work! Keep it up 👍🏻
Image of Rabia Nishat
Rabia Nishat · ago
Keep it up Vansh:)
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Ratnesh Bapat · ago
Keep up your good work
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Roberta Sherman · ago
Another wonderful poem. Keep shining ❤️✍️
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Vinita Anand · ago
Very nice ..,,,👍
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Rashmi Sinha · ago
Keep it up ! Proud of you .
Image of Rashmi Sinha
Rashmi Sinha · ago
Très commendable
Image of Rashmi Sinha
Rashmi Sinha · ago
Proud of you vansh. Keep it up !!
Image of Preet Kanwal Dhillon
Preet Kanwal Dhillon · ago
Keep up the good work 👏
Image of Rose Omar
Rose Omar · ago
3 votes for the superb work!!! 👏🏻👏🏻
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Arun Tandan · ago
Very nice work. Keep it up
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Monica Sood · ago
Budding Artist 🙂
Image of Omar Ali
Omar Ali · ago
Good work Vansh, I think you have the talent to become a successful sci-fi writer!
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Hemant Chand Kapur · ago
Good piece of work.
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Anju Sachar · ago
Very well done Vansh Malhotra👍👍 keep it up
Image of Rosie Klair
Rosie Klair · ago
Well done Vansh! Brilliant work 👏🏽
Image of Shikha Agrawal
Shikha Agrawal · ago
Well done Vansh. Amazing👌💕
Image of Seema Abrol
Seema Abrol · ago
Great work Vansh, you truly go into the character and bring out the best 💗
Image of Pardeep Dhillon
Pardeep Dhillon · ago
So proud of you Vansh! A great writer like your great grandfather
Image of Charu Mathur
Charu Mathur · ago
Excellent work Vansh
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natasha kohli · ago
beyond beautiful! the creativity shows throigh his writing i absolutely adore it. ♥️♥️
Image of Ajay Gupta
Ajay Gupta · ago
Vansh is creative since his childhood. He has an amazing sensing of grasping things and situations and adapt them very fast. This is iso visible in his writing. All the very best
Image of Ayush Malhotra
Ayush Malhotra · ago
Can't beleive it my elder brother wrote this😲😲😲😲 this is so so amazing !!! So proud of you!
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Fadi deek · ago
beautiful work vansh keep up
Image of Simrita Arora
Simrita Arora · ago
Wow! This is so amazing! Always love your writings
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Sandeep Dass · ago
once again Vansh u have made us proud..... beautiful.
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Neetu Oberoi · ago
Simply amazing. So much maturity in your writing. Way to go buddy.....
Image of Annu Dass
Annu Dass · ago
Always amazed by ur imagination n expression Vansh. All the best!
Image of Keith Simmonds
Keith Simmonds · ago
Beautifully written and fascinating ! This work should go very far, indeed ! My maximum votes awarded... Please go to your box for further comments.
Image of Deepak Kohli
Deepak Kohli · ago
Wow Vansh, far fetched comparisons seem so relevant to the subject. We’ll written. Commendable job👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Shikha kohli

Image of Arvind Kaur
Arvind Kaur · ago
Great writer.. God bless you Vansh ♥️♥️
Image of Angad Likhari
Angad Likhari · ago
Excellent work. Keep it up. All my blessings
Image of SHEETAL CHAWLA
SHEETAL CHAWLA · ago
Amazingly written! All the very best Vansh!
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Sudeep Bhatia · ago
Truely a great idea for Disney to make a movie
Image of Shinju Mahajan
Shinju Mahajan · ago
As always Dear Vansh you surprise me with your talent of writing your thoughts so beautifully. Stay blessed and hope to see your name among the top selling authors and poets
Image of Sandeep Malhotra
Sandeep Malhotra · ago
Very well written, Your talent is amazing ..God bless!!
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Savita Malhotra · ago
Ur way of expressing is grt.U write so well.
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Vasundhara Goel · ago
Futuristic story
Image of Connor Brown
Connor Brown · ago
Great story by an even greater guy!