My lab was quiet. Fluorescent ceiling lights reflected sharply in the brilliant shine of a brass oil lamp resting among glass flasks and stir plates on a black countertop in front of me. Wearing dark nitrile gloves, I gently lifted the small lamp, inspecting it closely—a masterful, intricately wrought piece of ancient craftsmanship. It had taken almost a decade to find this artifact and prepare for this experiment. It was finally time!
Eager but cautious, I rubbed a gloved thumb against the side of the lamp, feeling its fine spindling and swirling carvings. I repeated the gesture several times with many soft squeaks, but nothing happened.
Curious.
Setting down the lamp, I removed one of my gloves and then picked up the artifact again, hefting it in my gloved hand. The lamp was dense, but not as heavy as it should be, given what it held—if the tales were true.
Slowly, deliberately, I rubbed my now-exposed thumb onto the lamp's cool metallic sheen and its wispy artistic grooves.
Instantly, I sensed rumbling deep within the object, and the metal began to rapidly heat, as if suddenly placed above a Bunsen burner. It didn't grow too hot to hold, however, and I rotated the lamp in my hands as it warmed, feeling a strange gyroscopic resistance as I did.
Suddenly, a jet of brilliant white smoke burst from the lamp's nozzle, swirling with turbid madness among the countertop's beakers and bottles. Startling sparks flashed and danced in the mixture, like burning magnesium. Deep echoes of thunder rattled the room and clinking glass chimed on every shelf and counter space around me.
I stepped back as a man suddenly emerged from the beautiful chaos, richly dressed in vivid purple and adorned with golden jewelry. He had deeply bronze skin, dark hair, and vibrant green eyes.
The smoke soon settled as the man hovered above the countertop, the vapor forming his lower half and spilling lazily on the countertop and flasks beneath it, not unlike the sublimation of dry ice. I extended my exposed hand to feel the misty vapor; it was warm to the touch.
The rumbling soon subsided, and the man stared back at me with those piercing eyes—stony, ancient, and shining, like polished emeralds.
Suddenly, the newcomer spoke, his voice deep and spectacularly resonant:
"You have awakened me, he who has lived millennia among the sands and tombs of the ancients, seen mountains crumble with time, witnessed the sun's creation and will see it perish. I have served the mightiest kings, toppled the strongest empires, elevated the poorest beggar, granted wealth beyond the worth of worlds, and grasped the infinity of eternity. What are your wishes, my master?"
"Fascinating!" I exclaimed, hefting the lamp again. "Where do I begin? Let me think here...ah, yes, so my first question is, how did you come about being stuck in this ancient Arabian oil lamp?"
"Is that your first wish?" the man asked.
"No, I'm simply asking a question," I replied. "Does that require me to use one of my wishes?"
"I suppose it does not, my master."
"You ‘suppose' not?" I said, continuing to meet those intense green eyes. "Are there rules or laws governing the granting of wishes that you are unaware of? I've heard that you can't wish for infinite wishes and such, and so does that mean you adhere to specific laws?"
"We are immortal beings of infinite power and knowledge, and the laws of your world do not govern our realm," the man said, gesturing at the room, his muscles perfectly sculpted with strength. "What is your wish?"
"Ah, there is so much to ask here! So there are others like you, is that correct? And you come from another world? Oh, and would you say that the laws that govern that ‘realm', as you call it, follow specific, predictable, and repeatable patterns, or would you consider it true magic?"
"I endure in this world to serve mortals and grant their wishes. The others of my kind do not dwell here."
"Are you ignoring my questions?"
"I simply wish to know your wish, my master," the man said, still steadily holding my gaze, unblinking.
"Very well," I replied with a wave of my ungloved hand. "If I wish for you to answer all of my questions directly and without restraint, would you do it?"
"I am bound to serve the holder of the lamp."
"That's a yes then, is it?"
"State your behest."
"Fine then, my first wish is for you to answer all of my questions directly and without restraint."
"I shall grant it."
"Excellent! So how did you end up in this lamp?"
"Through shadow and great distress I was entombed within this tabernacle of brass."
"Okay...and what specific laws or rules govern your granting of wishes?"
"I am bound to grant three wishes to the holder of the lamp, and the boundaries are both nonexistent and endlessly constraining."
"So if you do have infinite power, as you claim, how then can you not grant me infinite wishes?"
"This is beyond the comprehension of mortals."
"Could you help me comprehend then, if you have infinite power?"
"You weary me with your asking."
"How can a being such as you become ‘weary'?"
"I cannot answer in your tongue. I am bound by the limitations of mortal language and my expressions to you cannot even grasp at my truest meaning."
"Can't you just grant me the ability to comprehend you fully then, if I request it?"
"I may not be able to comply with such a request."
"Ah-ha! So you are admitting there is at least some limitation to your powers?"
"Enough, human!" the man boomed, his voice rattling the room, my lab instruments trembling. "Magic cannot uphold to such scientific scrutiny. Stop trying to force logic onto something like me. I am a creature of magic and of story; our purpose is not to be dissected like an amphibian or plant. We are to teach, to entertain, to inspire, and cause reflection in the myths and stories of your world to, ironically, express and study your own humanity through the exploration of the impossible."
"Oh..." I said, glancing down at the gleaming lamp in my hand. "Well then. How disappointing. Ah...I suppose I should just let you be, then?" I looked back at the man.
"No—give me to a child," he said. "They will make something more of magic than you can."
"But isn't that...a tad dangerous?"
"Do I look foolish to you, mortal?" the man said, emerald eyes flashing.
I smiled, bowed slightly, and said, "Your wish will be granted."
Eager but cautious, I rubbed a gloved thumb against the side of the lamp, feeling its fine spindling and swirling carvings. I repeated the gesture several times with many soft squeaks, but nothing happened.
Curious.
Setting down the lamp, I removed one of my gloves and then picked up the artifact again, hefting it in my gloved hand. The lamp was dense, but not as heavy as it should be, given what it held—if the tales were true.
Slowly, deliberately, I rubbed my now-exposed thumb onto the lamp's cool metallic sheen and its wispy artistic grooves.
Instantly, I sensed rumbling deep within the object, and the metal began to rapidly heat, as if suddenly placed above a Bunsen burner. It didn't grow too hot to hold, however, and I rotated the lamp in my hands as it warmed, feeling a strange gyroscopic resistance as I did.
Suddenly, a jet of brilliant white smoke burst from the lamp's nozzle, swirling with turbid madness among the countertop's beakers and bottles. Startling sparks flashed and danced in the mixture, like burning magnesium. Deep echoes of thunder rattled the room and clinking glass chimed on every shelf and counter space around me.
I stepped back as a man suddenly emerged from the beautiful chaos, richly dressed in vivid purple and adorned with golden jewelry. He had deeply bronze skin, dark hair, and vibrant green eyes.
The smoke soon settled as the man hovered above the countertop, the vapor forming his lower half and spilling lazily on the countertop and flasks beneath it, not unlike the sublimation of dry ice. I extended my exposed hand to feel the misty vapor; it was warm to the touch.
The rumbling soon subsided, and the man stared back at me with those piercing eyes—stony, ancient, and shining, like polished emeralds.
Suddenly, the newcomer spoke, his voice deep and spectacularly resonant:
"You have awakened me, he who has lived millennia among the sands and tombs of the ancients, seen mountains crumble with time, witnessed the sun's creation and will see it perish. I have served the mightiest kings, toppled the strongest empires, elevated the poorest beggar, granted wealth beyond the worth of worlds, and grasped the infinity of eternity. What are your wishes, my master?"
"Fascinating!" I exclaimed, hefting the lamp again. "Where do I begin? Let me think here...ah, yes, so my first question is, how did you come about being stuck in this ancient Arabian oil lamp?"
"Is that your first wish?" the man asked.
"No, I'm simply asking a question," I replied. "Does that require me to use one of my wishes?"
"I suppose it does not, my master."
"You ‘suppose' not?" I said, continuing to meet those intense green eyes. "Are there rules or laws governing the granting of wishes that you are unaware of? I've heard that you can't wish for infinite wishes and such, and so does that mean you adhere to specific laws?"
"We are immortal beings of infinite power and knowledge, and the laws of your world do not govern our realm," the man said, gesturing at the room, his muscles perfectly sculpted with strength. "What is your wish?"
"Ah, there is so much to ask here! So there are others like you, is that correct? And you come from another world? Oh, and would you say that the laws that govern that ‘realm', as you call it, follow specific, predictable, and repeatable patterns, or would you consider it true magic?"
"I endure in this world to serve mortals and grant their wishes. The others of my kind do not dwell here."
"Are you ignoring my questions?"
"I simply wish to know your wish, my master," the man said, still steadily holding my gaze, unblinking.
"Very well," I replied with a wave of my ungloved hand. "If I wish for you to answer all of my questions directly and without restraint, would you do it?"
"I am bound to serve the holder of the lamp."
"That's a yes then, is it?"
"State your behest."
"Fine then, my first wish is for you to answer all of my questions directly and without restraint."
"I shall grant it."
"Excellent! So how did you end up in this lamp?"
"Through shadow and great distress I was entombed within this tabernacle of brass."
"Okay...and what specific laws or rules govern your granting of wishes?"
"I am bound to grant three wishes to the holder of the lamp, and the boundaries are both nonexistent and endlessly constraining."
"So if you do have infinite power, as you claim, how then can you not grant me infinite wishes?"
"This is beyond the comprehension of mortals."
"Could you help me comprehend then, if you have infinite power?"
"You weary me with your asking."
"How can a being such as you become ‘weary'?"
"I cannot answer in your tongue. I am bound by the limitations of mortal language and my expressions to you cannot even grasp at my truest meaning."
"Can't you just grant me the ability to comprehend you fully then, if I request it?"
"I may not be able to comply with such a request."
"Ah-ha! So you are admitting there is at least some limitation to your powers?"
"Enough, human!" the man boomed, his voice rattling the room, my lab instruments trembling. "Magic cannot uphold to such scientific scrutiny. Stop trying to force logic onto something like me. I am a creature of magic and of story; our purpose is not to be dissected like an amphibian or plant. We are to teach, to entertain, to inspire, and cause reflection in the myths and stories of your world to, ironically, express and study your own humanity through the exploration of the impossible."
"Oh..." I said, glancing down at the gleaming lamp in my hand. "Well then. How disappointing. Ah...I suppose I should just let you be, then?" I looked back at the man.
"No—give me to a child," he said. "They will make something more of magic than you can."
"But isn't that...a tad dangerous?"
"Do I look foolish to you, mortal?" the man said, emerald eyes flashing.
I smiled, bowed slightly, and said, "Your wish will be granted."