I see myself in you

Image of Long Story Short Award - 2022
Image of Short Fiction

I whispered under my breath, looking at my soulless corpse on the bed. Next to me, my dearest sister stood there in shock, with a pillow in her hands.

The pillow that suffocated me.

I floated behind her and mumbled again,

I loved you, why? We grew up together. I helped you with your assignments and you were my personal dating advisor. You were the closest person I had in this universe and we knew everything on each other's mind. We shared the same taste in fashion, music, arts, everything. I guess even in partners too.

Things started to change these few years. The glare, the scoffs, and the eyerolls that gradually grew frequent whenever my boyfriend came over. I thought it was just a phase. Apparently, I was wrong. The jealousy grew on her like a demon and she decided to wipe me out at last.

I want to take revenge.


I will make her life a living hell.

Why would I do that? She's my sister!

And she killed me.

I don't want to hurt her.

Or do I?

Who are you?


I looked at my sister. She was still holding onto the pillow, as if it would shield her from me. How silly. As I wafted through the air, the lights started to spark. The windows were shut close, but the curtains flapped around me in the air. Her screams were muffled in the pillow. She shook in fear and clenched tightly until her knuckles turned white.

"Sor-ry...no, no, no, pl-ease! No!"

She fell onto the ground, weeping and screaming at the air. She grabbed my motionless hands and kept apologizing. My body laid unresponsive, eyes staring at the ceiling without any vitality. The twinning necklace around our necks that she gave me as my birthday present shone weirdly under the dim light in the bedroom.

I wish I could forgive you, I wish.

I will make you suffer.

I counted the days, watched my parents and my friends grieved. Before I even got used to being a ghost, my funeral was here.

"I still can't believe my only sister in this world decided to end her life this way. I refuse to believe that we are at her funeral...I feel like she is still around me sometimes. I miss her laughter, her smile and her jokes. She was the best sister I could ever ask for. I can't believe that she would just leave me alone like this..." She sobbed as if she's telling the truth. Her acting was so convincing even I almost believed her.

This is disgusting, I never knew that she is such a good actress. Well, we never knew, yea?

Please stop, will you? Who are you again?

Weird question, darling.

I could still feel the pillow on my face and her palms around my neck while she mourned her loss. The pressure on my trachea, the fingers piercing my throat; my popping veins, my shallow breath, my blackening vision. She was right about me still being around though. Her cheeks were stained with mascara as tears ran down.

You repel me.

The voice grew louder.

I will rip you apart.

My coffin slowly descended beneath the ground. One after one, little white daisies fell from my family's hands. The daisies kept piling up and the crows in the sky sang me a melodic elegy. I searched around, but my boyfriend and my sister were nowhere to be found. Where were they? Where would they be in the middle of my funeral? In the midst of my confusion, I heard a little whisper.

"Why not? Why her but not me?"

"The one that I loved is your sister, not you!"

The whispers became louder and clearer.

"We literally look the same!"

"It's not how you look, it's about how you feel... Hey, back off!"

"You can develop feelings. Let me try! I love you, I have always loved you!"

I knew it, I knew it!

My boyfriend stepped forward and towered over my sister. He looked straight into my sister's eyes, his voice dropping to a dangerously low tone.

"Back off."


"Don't make me repeat myself again."

He swiftly turned away from her, leaving her alone under the dying willow tree.

Wrath boiled inside me. my heart felt like it was being burned by flames. that little voice came to my mind, asking me whether I would like to take revenge. I wanted to teach her a lesson, but I did not want to do any harm. She was the one whom I trusted, whom I loved, whom I shared everything with.

How the tables have turned.

I loved you.

I loathe you.

I followed my sister around. She looked normal, and resumed her routine pretty fast. But something changed.

She always slept with her lights off, and I slept with my lights on, claiming that she couldn't sleep if it was not completely black out. She even called me weird for leaving the lights on when sleeping. I remembered we got into a really serious fight for this when we shared a bedroom when we were young. But she had been keeping a light on since the day she killed me, no matter during the daytime or nighttime. I guess she felt guilty after all.

Is being guilty really enough?




That's right. No. Put her through hell.

She laid in bed, like every ordinary night. Her pupils dilated as she focused in the dark, I was right in front of her. The way she focused in the dark felt like she could see me. I watched her eyes slowly close as the moon revealed itself. The night breeze blew through the window's gap, it was soothing. So soothing that she fell into a deep sleep.

"Wait, why? You're dead!"

Don't you have anything to say? Maybe an apology?

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please, no, no. Leave me alone. I'm just too jealous. I'm sorry, please don't hurt me."

What? I promise I won't hurt you. I loved you.

You took everything from me.

I loved you, why did you do that to me?

You betrayed me.

"You're not my sister!"

I am.

I am.

She doesn't want to hurt you, but I do.

"Who are you?"

You'll know.

Stop talking over me!

You're the only one talking here.

"Back off!"

This isn't over.

"Where are we? Why are we at the cliff, stop coming forward, please! I told you I'm sorry! You promised."

She promised.

"I don't understand. Please, no. What do you want?"

What do I want?

I want her dead.

I forced her to the edge of the cliff, the fright in her eyes intensified as she got closer to it. My hands, covered in mud, pushing the poor soul down at last.

I'll see you again.

"NO!" She screamed as she jerked awake. Her face glistened with sweat and tears, and she let out a soft cry in the dark bedroom. She panted, curling up in bed and pulling her blankets tightly around her.

Fear has never smelled so delicious.

"She's finally here to get me."

I said I didn't want to do so!

You're welcome.


You created me, I unleashed you. You need me.

I am you.

You are me.

Days passed and her night routine remained the same — pajamas and bed sheets soaked, blankets and pillows all over the floor.

"Leave me alone, will you? I'm sorry, please..."

She walked to the bathroom, heavy eye bags reflected in the mirror.

"I pray, Lord, grant me a good night's sleep..." she whispered.

I smiled at our reflection.

This is just the start.