Homeless

I remember when I was a nesting,I would stay in my bird nest and wait for my mom to feed me,my sisters and brothers some sticky earthworms or crunchy crickets.I would say that it was the best time in my life because my home was warm.Sometimes,we would sleep together under the moonlight,listen to the lullaby of the wind passing by the trees,the rivers,the lakes.How lightly,how genteelly.My mom would cover us with her soft big wings to keep us warm.I felt I was cared,protected and loved and I wished I could never leave my home and everything stayed just like this.

As I grew up,I started to learn how to fly.Nonetheless,the way I learned how to way was horribly horrible.One day,I had a very bad feeling.Part of my sensitive self felt like something was threatening me.Something bad was going to happen.An invisible horror was catching my throat that I could not breathe.Then my mom stood behind me,my sisters and my brothers and she pushed us off our bird nest.

Suddenly.Rudely.Pitilessly.

The gravity was pulling us in a dark,deep hope which I could not see its bottom.I saw some of my sisters or brothers could not fly and they fell on ground and died.I was scared,hopeless and helpless.I slapped my wings so hard,wishing I would not hit the rocks or ground just like them.My heart pounded faster,louder and just before I reached the ground and was supposed to feel a horrible pain,the falling of me just stopped.Few seconds later I realized I was flying.

Just when I learned how to fly I flew away from my bird nest in no time and did not even turn back to meet my mom's gaze and the bird nest because I just felt cold,abandoned,hurt,destroyed.I did not have courage to look at her,look at my home.I did not know if she would look at me with her cool,unemotional eyes.If she did then I would rather leave and never come back.

My considerate mom had gone.My warm home was broken.I was homeless.

Thus,I left.I flew away and saw a million of big trees.Sometimes I would take a rest there beneath the dazzling sun and if I was starving I would eat some insects.The first time when I tried to catch a cricket was literally warning me out.I never knew that it would be so hard to catch a little insect that was smaller than my body so much.I innocently thought it would be so easy.Yet I knew I had to take care of myself by myself so I had nothing to do but just to catch the insects a few more times.Fortunately,I learned how to do it sooner.

A while later I arrived at a new place where I made friends with some fellows.I made up my mind to stay with them.We would always have meals and chat together casually or warn each other to stay away from snakes and crows.Under the sun,under the cloud,under the wind,everything was happy,enjoyable and peaceful.Somehow I forgot the shadow that had existed and broken my childhood and I did not care about them anymore because I had my home again.

One day,there were some animals coming into the forest.I did not know what they were called,nor had I seen them before.They looked like monkeys but they were stronger,bigger and less furrier.They held something big in their hands.I knew nothing about it but how sharp it was.It looked so dangerous.I had a bad feeling,just like the day my mom pushed me off the bird nest.I saw they put that thing nearby the root of the tree.A loud noise and the dust came out few seconds later.We were all shocked at the moment.They were cutting the trees!They were destroying our home!They wanted to ruin everything!

We were scared by the noise and knew exactly what we would become.We had nothing to do but leave so we flew away instantly and looked for a new place.We were breaking down and crying so hard and furious.Our home was destroyed.We kept flying,expecting to land on another wonderland but the saddest fear came.We flew above the sky and we were supposed to see the big beautiful trees but all we saw was just hollow.

Where were the trees and rocks?We only saw the roots.Why were the rivers and the lakes not cleared anymore and some long transparent things floating in the water? We did not know what it was.We just knew we had to keep flying until we landed on a tree.We always hoped to see a comfortable tree in the next second but we flew so long until we were too exhausted to fly and we still did not have a place to take a rest.

Just one night,everything became terribly different.We were homeless.I was homeless again.

No matter how many places we have passed,we still did not see any trees.Later,my friends all died of starvation and cold.I am the only one still alive.Yet,I believe I will be dead soon because I am desperately starving and thirsty.My stomach is completely empty.I look up in the sky and see a million shining stars.Are they smiling to me or not?Why have I never noticed that before even when I was flying in the sky?It is so beautiful,so breathtaking.

I lay myself on the firm,cold ground and take a deep breath,closing my eyes heavily.

I have always hoped I will not be homeless anymore but even though I am reaching to my death I am still homeless.

Is it a greedy wish to have a home?
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