"Miss Tanaka, are you afraid of me?"

I hate the step he takes forward, placing one polished shoe in front of the other with the confidence of a man who has nothing left to lose. I hate the way he tilts his head ever so slightly, steady gunpowder gaze on me in a manner that makes it clear that while he is waiting for my response, he is in no rush to acquire it. I hate the silence that continues to stretch between us and the soft sigh he eventually gives, pushing his silver-rimmed glasses higher up the bridge of his nose as he takes a step closer once more, having grown tired of the lack of an answer to his question.

"Miss-"

"I heard you Kei." I hate the words I force out of my now dry throat and the strain in my voice as I continue, "However," I hate the step I take toward him despite my mind's flight or fight response screaming at me to retreat. "I don't have time for your idiotic little power plays." 

I hate that I do fear him. Just not for the reasons I once did.  It's hard to believe that two months ago, the only thing I feared he could take from me was the scholarship to Cambridge. 

Kei returns my step with one of his own.

I hate this, the way my whole body betrays me as my lungs surrender to him the breath that I hadn't realized they've been holding. As if they were waiting for him. As if he were the only one worthy to give their life source to. 

I bite the inside of my cheek as I see that same slow-spreading millimeter tick at the corner of his mouth. It's measured, calculated – as if he refuses to relinquish control even over something as simple as a smile.

"Running from a question?" He takes another step closer and I take one back, mentally cursing as my back hits a pillar. He tilts his chin downward, his lips now a few centimeters from my nose as his glasses slide down just enough to reveal his tormenting loaded-gun gaze, "That's unlike you. I'm disappointed." 

I force an eye roll, feigning nonchalance to his sudden proximity. I hate this, the condescension caramelizing his tone and the way that same barely-smile I once detested more than anything now has my stomach in a Gordian knot. 

I take a breath, preparing myself to speak but due to his propinquity, instead of it silencing my racing heart it pushes it into full blast as the aroma of his minty cologne envelops my senses. I really hate this.

"Is something the matter, Miss Tanaka?" His voice sounds like a finely tuned cello, steady without sounding forced, a velvety type of casual as if asking me about the weather instead of condemning my fate. I don't know which makes me sicker, how close his voice is to me right now or that a part of me finds his haunting melody alluring.  I hate every part of this but above all, I shut my eyes, centering myself despite the coldness I now feel - as if the whole world has turned icy without the fires in his eyes to light it up. I hate that I don't hate him.

"I'm fine." I force my eyes to open as my words come out in a hardly audible whisper but I know he hears them. That's why I feel my fists clench at my sides when he moves even closer, his fingers only a phalanges breath away from the hem of my skirt, his other hand moving to rest on the pillar behind me as he leans down further until we're at eye level. I refuse to bring my eyes to his, refuse to let him see all the tell-tale signs hanging in my gaze. However, he's merciless in his pursuit to get me to admit defeat. Before I can react, he grabs my chin, the motion far too hostile to be romantic and lifts it until our eyes collide like fire and coal, the red-brown from mine clashing with the black of his.

"Sorry," His whisper causes the stray wisps of my hair to twirl away from my face like panicked ballerinas. "What did you say?" His eyes dance between my lips and eyes, taunting, teasing and cold, "You're too soft." 

And you're too close! I want to scream at him, shove him away or do anything that would put some much needed distance between us but I know that's exactly what he wants me to do since it would be admitting that I am all too aware of every inch of his skin that's pressing against mine. It would be admitting that I lost our bet, that I got flustered first.

I can't let my heart get caught in the crossfire of the raging war between us. I can't wave a white flag when I've already come so far. I have no choice but to fake it, to be so good at pretending that I end up hoodwinking reality and tricking the universe itself. Perhaps then I will have a chance to fool Kei Nakamura.

I grit my teeth as  I gather the pieces of my courage he crushed when he first forced our personal spaces to intermingle as I lean back on the pillar fully, putting enough of a gap between us that I can meet his eyes and do the one thing I know will give me a fighting chance of ending this fruitless battle.

 

I laugh. 

 

The sound echoes throughout the empty music room, bouncing off the stained glass windows and reverberating in the space between us,  seeming to knock a brick out of his sky-scraper of a god-complex.

"My apologies." I dip each of my words in malice before pointing them at him and firing, "It seems you're as deaf as you are foolish"

His eyes turn to slits but the ease in the smile he still sports tells me he has a better comeback to my verbal jab waiting so I don't give him the chance to speak.

"I said I was fine and to answer your question from earlier – I am not afraid of you." The boldness in my voice surprises me but not as much as it seems to unsettle him. My eyes flick to the barely visible annoyance creasing the corners of his eyes as I steal more of the bravado he seems to be losing his hold on.

"I'm just tired of playing your stupid game." I scoff for good measure which evolves his winter stare into an arctic one.

"Is that so?" His usual calm tone is tainted with anger. "Perhaps then," He leans down closer to me and I do everything in my power not to lose my footing on the ground I worked so hard to even,  "you should not have agreed to the terms of our deal." His eyes stay on my lips as he speaks, darkening in a way that should be impossible since they're already such a deep onyx shade. I realize I was wrong earlier. Instead of a man with nothing to lose, he much rather resembles a man who has everything to win.

"Perhaps," I ignore the increasing beat of my volatile heart, pushing away all embarrassment threatening to redden my cheeks and place my fingers around the black tie that hangs from his neck. He looks down to it, his eyes filling for a second with mild shock before he blinks, wiping away any evidence that for a nanosecond, I had the higher ground. He opens his mouth to speak but I can't lose this miniscule lead I have so I quickly finish my sentence, "But I'm tired of playing by your rules." 

His eyes snap to mine, vexation covering what looks an awful lot like intrigue, "Oh and how do you-",

I don't let him finish and instead give a hard tug on his tie, the movement too sudden for him to stop as the impact pulls his body fully against mine. He's so close I'm seeing double but I can't let him move back, not before I say, "From now on," I press into him and from his sharp intake of breath, he definitely notices. I lean forward, red-lip glossed lips a couple millimeters away from his, as I look from them to his eyes just like he had done to me earlier, "we play by my rules." Then, before he can come to his senses, I close the gap and press my lips to his.