The midday sun shines overhead, greeting our so-called hero, Captain Sundae, and his trusty dog, Top. Captain Sundae has been fishing all morning while Top has been busy sunbathing by the ... [+]
The horses, exhausted and haggard, arrived at the half-dilapidated inn late in the evening, when the sun was but a dim orange ball dangling inches from the horizon.
The riders were in no better shape. Angaros, leader of the Persian merchants, haggled for price with the innkeeper as others went about making sure nothing was lost in their scrambling attempt to escape the pouring rain earlier in the day. It had turned completely dark when they finally reached an agreement. One night, two rooms, with straw bedding reeking of sweat.
Wan was too tired to care. She wandered into a random room, pulled over a stool and plopped down, legs sore from riding. It was her first few days on horseback, and things weren't going easy. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, meeting the concerned blue eyes of Lazuli. "Are you alright?"
Wan tried to smile, but even that proved to be difficult. "As alright as one can be after riding through a downpour." She wasn't being mean intentionally, and Lazuli didn't mind.
The Persian girl began unloading an assortment of items from her pack. "I remember my riding start," she said as she worked, blonde locks bouncing around her forehead, "my thighs were ruined. Feel like my cloth became my skin. Now that all turned to scabs, and riding is much better. Let me help."
Wan's initial reaction was to decline. They were alone at the moment, but she was still wary to peel off her cloth in a strange environment. Then she gritted her teeth and forced herself to relax. She had already come so far with these Persians, what's one more change?
Whatever Lazuli was applying stung. Wan bit her lips and felt tears prick her eyes. As if sensing her unease, Lazuli began talking again. "Angaros said we will reach town soon, to trade and rest. Beyond that, Chang'an and Ba Water."
The name made Wan's heart flutter. "Ba Water." She murmured. "I'll finally get to see what it actually looks like, instead of just reading about."
She recalled the texts she had read about the river. "Do you know what Bai Water is most famous for? Here, people give away willow branch to each other upon farewell. Because the riverbank is full of willow trees, Bai Water became a symbol of farewell and nostalgia for poets." She trailed off as she heard her voice crack.
Lazuli was wrapping a layer of clean fabric around her thigh. "Are you nostalgic?" Her tone was soft.
Silent met the question.
"You know," the Persian girl made sure the bandage was secure and helped Wan back into her underclothes, "being nostalgic doesn't mean you choose wrong or you are regretting. Changes make you miss the familiar; that's normal."
"But what if it is because I'm regretting?" Wan met the clear blue irises of her friend, heart twisting in her chest like fresh laundry being squeezed. "What if this was a mistake? Maybe... maybe I don't need this. All I need is my town and the haitang (crabapple) flowers."
They would be falling by now, Wan knew. Much preparations were needed. An Shu would be checking clay vets, Wu Niang would be weaving baskets, Mai Shu would be fixing mortars, and Ping Yi and Zhao Shu and Fang Yi and... everyone would pitch in. Then, fruits would bear, with them would come the busiest time. Picking and crushing the fruits, sealing the vats, monitoring fermentation. For countless days, the air would be filled with the sweet and sour scent as another batch of haitang wine was made.
Without her. She had had a giant fight with her parents, abandoned everyone, and ran off to see the world with some Persian merchants that happened to stay for ten days or so in her town.
But wasn't this exactly the reason she chose to leave? The repetitive days, the endless cycle, the sickening smell. The haitang wine left room for nothing more. She could gaze ahead and see the exact route of her life, same as every woman in town. The haitang petals would bury her, alive or dead.
"Si Niang left." Lazuli prompted. "She gave you Shui Jing Zhu. You said it was a sign. You would follow her and see the grand rivers in the book."
"I..." But she never thought she would actually miss her town. It seemed the second she had set foot outside, every memory began to exude warmth, even the moments she once resented. After all, it was... home. Wan was familiar with every nook and cranny; she knew every face. And, and... she was with father and mother. Waking up to the smell of mother's cooking, hearing father's hurried steps home as he returned from another lesson at Official Lin's residence, those sounds and scents, and the sweetness of haitang, made up her life. What were they doing now? Do they miss her?
Was this how Si Niang felt when she left all those years ago? When she bid farewell to Wan, the daughter of her dear friend, had she truly foreseen Wan's fate?
She had changed the entire course of her life just to chase her desire. It seemed the heady cloud of excitement had finally cleared from her mind, leaving her stranded and hesitant. Wan was just beginning to fathom how much she had sacrificed. Was the prize worth it?
"Let's sleep." She only said as some other merchants entered the room.
***
She found herself among the haitang trees. The flowers were in full bloom. She stood near the stream, the water clear and running merrily.
The flowers were so spectacularly large that one melted into the other, covering the branches in white and pink. The branches were impossibly long as well, stretching in all directions and intertwining with each other until the canopy blocked the sky completely.
Wan reached for a flower. It liquified the instant her fingers touched it, running down her arm in white and pink trails. The feeling was pleasantly warm, like mother's embrace, or the smell of bedding after being left outside in a sunny noon.
As if a dam had been broken, the haitang flowers began to melt one after another until the entire wood began collapsing around her. White and pink liquid lapped at her ankles, knees, waist. She should run or she'll soon drown, but she couldn't. Wan felt so achingly sheltered by that intoxicating comfort. Maybe drowning here wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Panic finally took hold once the liquid reached her chin. Wan wanted to step back, to break away, but the liquid's grip on her only tightened.
A smudge of green appeared at the edge of her vision. She turned, desperate, to see a slim willow branch amidst the white and pink. With all her might, Wan managed to pull an arm free from the liquid's grasp. She could feel the warmth clinging to her skin, begging her not to go. Still, she reached out, and her fingers locked around the branch.
Everything transformed in a heartbeat. She was floating, not in the dreadful liquid, but in transparent water. Sweeping willow branches trailed down around her. She raised her head, and on the bank not far away, she glimpsed a familiar, slender figure.
"Si Niang?" Wan breathed.
She thought she saw the figure smile.
"Wan!" She was pulled out of the dream suddenly as sudden can be, blinking blearily. Lazuli was shaking her shoulders. "Wan! Are you alright? Did you dream?"
It took several shaky breathes for Wan to regain her speech. She could hear heavy rain pounding the roof, and more distantly thunder rumbled, yet she wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
"Wan?" Lazuli called again.
She smiled at the Persian girl. "I'm alright, Lazuli, thank you. We should sleep. We have a long way to go."