Where is Grace

Image of Long Story Short Award - 2022
Image of Poetry
A supple twig crowned with leaves floats down the creek
I walk with it, I keep pace with it
It gets caught on a rock
I keep walking
I can't afford to stop and be still
In order to receive the peace the stillness the solitude of wild things
I need agitation movement distraction to get out of my head
Where is grace?
Where is the enabling power that fills in all the gaps in my imperfectness?
Where is that personal individual aid so hard to define?
Where is the peace that surpasses my limited human understanding?

I need to slow down.
Like Mary Oliver said
You don't want to hear the story
Of my life, and anyway
I don't want to tell it, I want to listen
To the waterfall the wind the bees
Even in paradise Adam needed grace
I'm not in paradise so
how much more do I need it?
It only takes a pinpoint of light
For all of grace to come through
Sunlight shadows drape onto dirt, dappling light
That's more than a pinpoint so
Where is grace?
Is it in the waterfall the wind the bees?
I'm trying to perceive the sublime the eternal the stars
Trying to fathom constellations where there are none
Or are there some?
The fault is not in our stars
But in ourselves that we are underlings
Nature cares nothing of my absolute need for grace for peace for solitude for healing
It exists in its own duality but cares nothing of mine
I wonder search seek strive agonize want to know need to know
how to reconcile two halves
that fit together perfectly but
are too complex to parse?
Like the water drops as they tumble over one another in the stream
The leaves caught up to me
Five green fingers grasping for something they cannot reach
Is grace beyond my reach?
There is no loneliness like mine.
The leaves are gone again. Further downstream
I've lost them lost track of them lost track of my thoughts lost myself somewhere along the way
I'm trying to find them myself my thoughts grace
A woodpecker taps at the tree at the edge of my consciousness at the edge of my hearing
A dam breaks somewhere upstream
Or somewhere within me
Grace comes flooding in
Filling every gap every crack every hole
In my heart in my mind in my soul
I am whole.