Through hell and back again

When I was younger I felt like a ghost
So starkly different stranger than most
I wished to belong, I didn't fit in
Radically weird when compared to my kin

I must be adopted, they aren't like me!
I thought again and again since I was wee
I wondered inside about another perception
Unrealizing how lucky I was since conception

Brothers and sisters who stayed by my side
Watching out as I failed stride by stride
Parents who loved me who cared for my health
As I robbed them of their spiritual wealth

Slowly but surely I pushed them away
Internalizing my issues, had nothing to say
My problems were mine I dealt all alone
Not even able to talk on the phone

It all caught up, I was in a bind
Losing grey matter, also my mind
What remained was only a shell
Everything else had gone to hell

Into the hospital I was led
Pinned to the ground; the drugs force-fed
Into the machine as I lay on a bed
The problem existed inside of my head

I had to heal; to learn how to cope
Finally let out some of my rope
Starting from scratch, learning to talk
Just as a baby learns how to walk

Like a bomb I released the self-hate
Let it disappear, go away, abate
For once in my life I am confident, secure
Living my life without crippling fears

It’s a long journey to say the least
Constantly fighting your inner beast
Unhappy I was, who I used to be
I changed for the better, and I love me

Thank you to all of my family and friends
For doing your best to help me to mend
Cousins and neighbours you all had a part
You shall forever remain in my heart