And I dream about the safety
Your presence
Creates
an armour
or a guard
so I don't have to
but then I look down
stripped of my cold metal breast plate
that surrounded my conscience
I don't recognize the curves of my boobs or my hips
Who is she?
without my bosom
hiding behind the bedazzled
armour
I have become what I want you to see
So that when you say goodbye
You are leaving a person
I made just for you
Someone who loves the way your lip curls when you swear
And the way you spend 30 minutes talking
before you even look at me

You showcase me to your friends
But your voice is like a trumpet
The center of every orchestrated conversation
Your laughter echoes through our your halls like a waterfall
Soothing yet
frightening
better to keep a distance
to avoid being swept out in your riptide
you're a statue in a museum
"they loved you"
I curdle
because to them
I am a blonde with a smile
And a name they forgot
An accessory to your personality
Like a pair of diamond earrings to bring out your eyes
Pretty enough for recognition
Not enough for distraction
But when my lips roam your body
Your skin is like ecstasy
Each kiss is another hit
Sending me deeper into delusion
To A world where
You are mine and I am not yours
And I forget
that you make me feel like a child
And I forget why they tell me to leave you
Because your hands know the curves of my breasts and my hips better than I do
How do I untangle
My love devotion to you
And redirect it to me
But I forget who I was
Before I let your words drip into my identity
And your presence
Trap me in your safety net