I Saw You Today

I saw you today.
This feeling will never change.
No matter how fast I walked away,
staring straight ahead
like they say.
This feeling will never change.

I saw you today.
Did you see the slight hesitation
in my step
to continue forward?
Maybe you heard the sound of my heart
from where you were.
It grew rapid as my chest began to seize up,
remembering your face.

I saw you today
No matter what the mind blocks out,
my body will always remember.
The look in your eye screamed
to grab me
and strike me
because the truth was spilled.
You never looked away,
but you knew too many people were around.

I saw you today.
The words still echoed in the air.
I do not know which is worse:
your words or your father’s.
“I’m white. I will get away with it.”
“Just be gentle next time.”

I saw you today.
No cop or judge seemed to believe what I had to say.
“How did you know you were bleeding?”
To the law,
I did not know my own body.

I saw you today.
Maybe it was
my fault.
I should have kept
my silence.
I should have accepted
my fate
when you took “no” away
from me.

I saw you today.
Your lawyer argued that
I should have worn more clothes.
Your friends said
you were not that drunk.
It was
my fault.

I saw you today.
that’s what the cops tried to say I was looking for.
Why did I not
speak up sooner?
I allowed myself to believe
I’m at fault
because everyone blamed me.

I saw you today
And it’s not
my fault.
I pulled myself out of my hole
and I fought you.
I saw
what you hid from everyone else.

I saw you today.
Et Vici.