I convince myself it’s a kind of grocery list

I will buy bread I will not 

Forget gluten free for Uncle Paul 

I will buy eggs will

Use the coupon at the bottom of my purse 

I will 

 

When my girlfriend asks me if I’ll write a New Year’s Resolution

I tell her I’ll write this poem instead

Tell her her voice pressed up against my cheek 

Her voice more bean bag than human less skin and more frequency 

See I am home but she’s not here 

So I make another promise because it’s the closest I can get 

To her lips from within this stone house 

 

It’s not a grocery list

I dictated to my mother couldn’t

Bring myself to type the words 

Only poetry belongs on these fingertips she kept

Smiling at me between sips of coffee I knew 

Had long gone cold between I love yous

And I’m worried about yous 

 

I will buy bread I want to say

I will buy eggs

Milk

Butter 

I promise 

I will