The Headache

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Image de Automne 2016
Another day is done.
And for the moment,
the tide of pain has ebbed.
This excruciating pain
deep inside my head.
So many years
have come and gone.
So many drugs,
so many tests.
And still,
the doctors say
“nothing can be done.”
I’ve lost my way of life,
no longer able to work.
I am no longer a person
contributing on this earth.
And as I sit here and write this
another wave rushes in.
My eyes, they hurt;
my shoulders, they burn.
My jaw is clenched,
my neck so stiff,
my scalp so tight.
Thirty years and more.
The pain, it never stops.
The light, it hurts my eyes.
Piercing white hot pokers
jabbed into my brain.
Memories I can no longer recall.
Words I knew have slipped away.
The pain, it takes it all.
I sit home all alone,
no longer in the world.
The effort it now takes
just to clean a dish.
The early years,
before it took control,
time was spent with friends.
I used to be a social butterfly.
Now I live on disability.
This constant stabbing
my only friend.
I don’t know what to do.
There is a monster
in my head.
It tears across my brain
bringing misery and pain.
Its’ shrieks reverberate
inside my skull.
It rages across my
dark gray matter,
and with each step it takes,
claws dig deep and
shred my brain.
And as I sit here and write,
another wave pummels me.
Throws my head against the rocks.
Jagged and sharp
they tear my brain apart.
I want to cry
but know I can’t;
for with each tear
the pain gets more intense.
Its with me all the time.
I cannot get away,
I cannot hide,
not even in sleep.
Even in my dreams
I live with pain and misery.
How much more
can a body endure?
How many more years
must I suffer?
What kind of life is this?
How much more
before I snap?
©CMacCue
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