2
min

Philly Sandwiches and Nuclear Tsunamis

Image of Amadou

Amadou

15 readings

9

Once upon a time, 11:30 to be exact. A decision was made. One that would change the course of history forever. Amadeus didn’t pick up lunch. Oh, and two hyper-nuclear reactors in the mariana trench went off, instantly melting the polar ice caps and causing alert level tsunamis all across the globe. But that’s besides the point, Amadeus’ favorite sandwich shop was closed due to flooding, and there was no way in heck that he was going to eat at that pub across the street.
It has a B rating from the health inspector, a B! Amadeus was devastated, but he was a decent human being. So he walked into the shop and asked if he could help out.

They let him. After about two hours of struggling with the same bucket of water, Amadeus took a break.The shopkeeper, Keith, was impressed with his.... determination and decided to share with him a company secret. “This sandwich shop is actually a chain restaurant”. “No It’s not, you guys make sandwiches silly”. “I mean there are more shops just like this one”. Amadeus fainted out of pure shock. When he finally came to he set out on a quest to find the other restaurants and get his favorite sandwich, a double bacon philly on italian with mayo hold the tomatoes because he’s allergic. Amadeus searched for a grueling 2 minutes online before realizing the internet wasn’t up anymore. (Not because of the explosion just because he doesn’t pay his bills).

Amadeus was about to give up and accept his soggy sandwich fate, but then realized he didn’t even ask Keith anything before bolting out. Amadeus got in his car, Oh wait, he doesn’t have one. He ran back to the sandwich shop. Amadeus is kind of a loser huh. “Hey who is that”.
Don’t worry about it bud. Amadeus finally made it to Keith and asked “Where exactly was that other location?” “Just across the street”. Keith pointed towards the most pristine, flawless building Amadeus had ever saw. “Wow!” Amadeus exclaimed. “No not that one, the one right next to it.” Ha Ha. “Stop laughing” “Who are you talking to?” Keith asks worriedly. Amadeus shrugs and continues across the street. Amadeus is now fully prepared for his B grade meal.
“Can I get a double bacon philly on italian with mayo hold the tomatoes because I’m allergic?”
Amadeus asked with a defeated sigh. “Sorry we are all out of everything you just asked for, except for the tomatoes we have a ton of those.” Suddenly Amadeus’ radioactive case of schizophrenia manifested itself into a double bacon philly on italian with mayo hold the tomatoes because Amadeus is allergic. Geez kid you needed a break.

The police were later called and Amadeus was arrested for gnawing on tables and acting just kinda weird overall.

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Image of Katla Ignis
Katla Ignis · ago
This is incredible! I love the humor. Here’s a link to my short story: https://short-edition.com/en/story/3-min/do-you-see-me I invite you to check it out!
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Image of Not-Only But-Also Riley
Not-Only But-Also Riley · ago
That title alone was enough to make me read this one. Quite the wild ride you've taken the reader on here, with just absolute, over-the-top ridiculousness making for some hilarious scenes (I particularly loved the little aside about Amadeus not paying his bills). There are a few places where the tense shifts, as well as a bit of dialogue where it becomes sort of confusing as to who is speaking. Also, I'm not a fan of speaking as directly to the reader as you do sometimes ("Amadeus is kind of a loser huh", for example) because I find it somewhat jarring. That could just be me though. Overall, great work; I do love me some silliness.
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Image of Amadou
Amadou · ago
Yeah, I went for something different. An experimental project if you will.
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